You have adopted a sibling group. The siblings that are of the same gender share a bedroom. As you walk into the bedroom one morning, you are nearly overcome by the pungent odor of urine. Upon further investigation, you realize the odor is permeating from the carpet in front of the dressers. In fact, the carpet is wet with urine in quite a large area. The siblings that you adopted seem oblivious to the odor and to your investigation. You comment, to no one in particular, “There is pee all over the carpet over here and it makes the bedroom smell bad. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep in here.”
The children don’t say anything. You try asking each child about it. “I wonder who peed on the carpet in your bedroom.” Of course, each child doesn’t know anything. You have no way to prove which child did it.
You are actually a little surprised because the children have been in your home for a while and nothing like this has happened before. However, the girls did make poor choices each day during the week, which resulted in being sent to bed early. What should you do?
You could ignore it. If they get tired of the smell maybe they will clean it up. Of course, if they lived that way for years before coming to your home it may not bother them. In fact, it may even be comforting to have the old familiar smells around them.
You could fill a bucket with soapy water containing some kind of odor eliminator. Then give the children a scrub brush and tell them to work together until the carpet is clean. You could even try eavesdropping to see if one accuses the other. Although I have watched my daughters work side by side a number of times without saying anything or pointing a finger.
You could shampoo the carpet yourself, not say anymore about it, and see if it happens again. What would you do?
Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2005
That is a tough one. You coudl clean it up and then sit each child down separatly or as a big family and say I dont know who did it but I am reminding everyone of the house rules. Potty in the potty no drawing on walls whatever are you main house rules and finish by saying you hope that if you ever need to talk about something you will not get into trouble. As a child who was abused I still haev a hard time talking to my husband for a fear of “getting in trouble”. Oh yeah and remember to tell them no matter what you love them. And there is nothing that can make you stop.
And then hope and pray that your carpet does not get another impromptu watering.
When you find out what to do please let me know…
I am also at a loss as to how to deal with the pee issue. Thankfully, we don’t have it happening all the time now but I find it so repulsive when I clean out dresser drawers and find dirty socks and underwear mixed in with the clean clothes. It’s so… gross. I have been telling my almost 15 yo daughter not to do this since she was 3 – yes 3!! Nothing ever seems to change at my house no matter how much I talk, or lecture, or make them clean it up, etc. I wish someone could come up with something to motivate them to follow rules.
How about a reward system? My boys get 150 pennies at the start of each week – they lose and earn pennies as the week goes on – at the end of the week if they have over $1 they get to turn them in for double the money for their piggy bank – if they have less then that is all they get. depending on the age you might need to up the ante – but doubling their money has my boys soo excited.
they had this same issue at a previous Foster home but haven’t had a problem here except bed wetting – but that’s greatly different then going in the corner or on the floor.
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