An older adopted child can really put a parent through the wringer. We parents need to learn to keep our sense of humor throughout these trials or we would definitely go nuts. While I understand the sensitivity and privacy of the subject, it can be helpful for adults parenting older adopted children to share stories. It is helpful because it can prepare us for inevitable. Yes, when our own adopted daughter reaches this developmental milestone. If we are not prepared, we may not handle this delicate situation as well as we could. Not only that, but laughter is good for the soul and the body. I would hate for you to believe that your adopted daughter is the only one who ever did these things, so read on.

My friend has adopted five children. The oldest, a daughter matured physically several years ago. Therefore, they have expecting her menses for a while. They have read books together and discussed what to expect. My friend bought her daughter panty liners to wear just in case. However, she assumed her teenage daughter would either read the directions on how to use them or use common sense. Her daughter did neither, of course.

For some reason all of her daughters seem to enjoy approaching their father with female issues. Perhaps they enjoy embarrassing him, or it may have something to do with the abuse they suffered before joining their forever family. The daughter asked her father what she should do about a sticky problem. He, red faced, sought his wife’s assistance immediately. She quickly assessed the problem and decided that the Band-Aid approach might work best. You know when you grab one end and rip it off as quickly as possible. I don’t think her daughter will be making that mistake again, nor has she asked for a bikini wax.

When she did actually begin her menses, she went to her father. She proceeded to describe in detail the issue she was having and asked what he thought. He thought she should tell her mother and helped by going after her himself. Her mother took her to the store to purchase her first package of sanitary pads. Mom suggested she put them into the shopping cart, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She held them to her chest through the entire store. When her mother stopped to chat with several previous male welding coworkers, it didn’t faze her for a minute. They even commented on her pride.



Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2006