You have decided to move ahead with your adoption plans to bring a sibling group into your family. Most of the children in the sibling group have appropriate names, but for one reason or another, one of them will require a name change at the time of the adoption. How will the other children react to that name change?

There are several reasons you might need or want to change the name of one of your children when you complete the adoption process. Some families see choosing a child’s name as a right of passage (sort of) into their family. Sometimes, in larger families, there is already a child in the family with the same name. Some families choose to change a child’s name for safety reasons, particularly if the child came from an infamous local family. Sometimes, you just can’t imagine living with a child with a particular name.

I know some families that change the name of every child they adopt. They see it as a fresh beginning for the child as part of a new family. Is it actually pretending that the child has no past?

The children have all seemed supportive and proud of their new names. Even the sibling groups addressed each other by their new names, at least while in the public eye. One family told me that their child’s behavior changed the day they changed his name.

I only know of one family that has two sons with the same first and last name because they don’t believe in changing a child’s name. They refer to their sons as big “J” and little “J.” Other families that I know have opted to change the first name of the child being adopted who has the same name as one of their other children. Again, I have witnessed acceptance by the child who has the changed name as well as by the existing siblings.

If you happen to be adopting a child through the local foster care system, and you intend to remain living in the area, you may need to change the child’s name for protection. If the birth family knows that you are in the area, they have violent criminal history, and the child has an easily identifiable name, then you may need to change the child’s name if you feel threatened.

Sometimes, you just can’t live with the child’s name. The youngest of a sibling group of five was named after his father. The children had experienced severe abuse for years from their father and his friends. When the foster family finally was finally able to adopt the children, they just couldn’t live with calling him by his father’s name. Again, all the siblings seemed supportive of this name change.

I do know that children try very hard to fit in and sometimes agree with their foster or adoptive family and their birth family, even if the agreement is a contradiction. To a child who has lost everything, perhaps losing a name doesn’t seem strange.

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The Child’s Best Interest? Adoption and Foster Care
It’s True! Adopting Special Needs Children Can Make You Nuts
Why should siblings be placed together?

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