Whether you have just adopted a sibling group or intend to adopt siblings soon, you should be extremely cautious about having them share a bedroom. If you are considering having the siblings share a bedroom with each other or with one of the children already in your home, you might want to reconsider if you have enough bedrooms. If you must have them share a room, consider hiding baby monitors under or near the beds. If you allow your children to play in each other’s bedrooms then you should also consider hiding monitors in the bedrooms so you can hear what is going on.

Children who are sexual predators can be very sneaky about sexually perpetrating other children in the family. They might threaten another child into cooperating or sweet talk another child into cooperating. If you have younger or same age children, do not assume your already established children will tell you about the behavior.

If one sibling is acting out sexually, then to be safe, you need to assume that all of the children in the sibling group are acting out together. They should not share a bedroom or be allowed to play alone together in a bedroom.

Infant monitors are an inexpensive way to safeguard your children while they play. Do not let the children know that you have the monitors in place or they may turn them off or cover them up. You cannot keep your eyes on them constantly. We all have to do laundry, use the bathroom, shower, sleep, etc.

One family that I know brought a seven-year-old child home from a residential treatment facility. Before they were aware of his sexual acting out, he had already perpetrated their four-year-old. They put him in a separate bedroom with a door alarm and a motion detector so they would know if he tried to leave his room in the night. He became so distraught about the curtailment of his activity that one night he jumped on the mother while she slept with a knife. Luckily, they were able to restrain him without harm to anyone.

Another family brought in one of a sibling group of three. The family knew that the siblings were separated because they were acting out sexually together. This child was the oldest of the siblings; she was only 11 but physically mature, very intelligent, and very manipulative.

The other girls in the foster home were teenagers, but immature and delayed by a few years. This put the 11 year old at a slight advantage. It is possible that she was mentally older than the other two girls,. She ended up convincing them to explore each other sexually, then tattled and claimed the older teenager had raped her.
The older teenager had been in that family for six years. She had no history of sexual abuse or sexually acting out, while the 11 year old had a documented history. The oldest teenager was removed from the home for over a year, charged with the crime, and put on probation for over a year. She continues to make payments to the court for her court fees.

The 11 year old later admitted her deceit. I know of many other cases that are similar, these are not isolated. I don’t want to scare you away from adopting we have adopted seven children. Just remember to use safeguards to protect your family and your new children so your home remains the safe haven it is meant to be.

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