I am getting ready to go out of town for four days and I have very mixed feelings. While I will enjoy the break away from the daily routine, I worry how my trip will affect some of my children. Ben has already been begging to go with me even though I told him that it isn't possible. He has a very difficult time separating from me.

Micheline, on the other hand, puts up a wall and pretends not to care if I leave. To be honest, that kind of behavior is much harder to deal with than the child who clings because she does indeed care very much but doesn't want to show it. It is clear by her pretend play and words that she says that she is frightened when I leave, and I've never left her for four days before.

One way to comfort a child who doesn't have a strong sense of permanence is to give them transitional objects.

T-shirts
Because young children experience life very strongly through their senses, and because our sense of smell is very acute and intense for bringing back memories - both positive and negative - a t-shirt that the parent has worn can be used for pajamas for the child while you are away. This can of course be used at any time, but it is especially comforting if you are going out of town. Your child can carry your "scent" with them as they fall asleep.

If you normally wear a particular cologne, spraying the shirt lightly with it will also give your child a comforting, familiar smell with which to drift off to sleep.

If you instead wear a scented lotion each day as I do, instruct your spouse or other caregiver to put it on your child before she goes to bed, or if your child is old enough they can put it on themselves. My daughter loves going to sleep with the same lotion on that she knows I wear each day.

Photo I.D.
You can take a photo of you with your child and laminate it to protect it from the elements. Clip it to an I.D. strap which will clip to her clothes,(available at office supply stores) or put it on a lanyard, and your child can wear your photo when she is separated from you.

Pillowcase
Is your child accustomed to falling asleep in a family bed or in her own bed with you nearby? One way to keep your child comforted while falling asleep is to have an image of the two of you together on her bed. Mere Images AZ, a company which can put a photo on virtually any item, can copy a photo for you onto a pillowcase or sheets. I'm not sure how they accomplish it, but their process is not like any of the other fabric transfers you can buy yourself. You can iron directly on it, bleach it, do virtually anything to destroy it, and the image is indestructible. It is also very soft, indistinguishable from the fabric itself, unlike other fabric transfers that feel stiff. I don't have any vested interest in their products...I'm just a satisfied customer.

Last but certainly not least, leave a sample of your voice telling your child how much you love them. There are a variety of toys on the market that you can record your voice onto, so your child can hear your voice while you are away. A few of these toys are listed below:

Slumberbear--a toy bear which can record your voice
Microphone Voice Recorder
Tuff Stuff Tape Recorder with Microphone
Voice recording toy telephone