Continued from part 1

The first tool that I mentioned in our family's top ten for facilitating communication is to gesture, gesture, gesture, or learn some basic sign language.



Think of the game Charades. It works because people are willing to gesture and act out their point.

When Ben came home, he had no functional language to speak of. He only had 3 gestures that the staff in his orphanage used to communicate with him. Since I was already a sign language interpreter, it was easy for me to start modeling signs to him. It was not so easy for my husband who was learning the language along with Ben, so Jeff took a few sign language courses at the local community college to speed up his sign language abilities.

It doesn't matter if your child is hearing or deaf, toddler age or much older--sign language can help bridge communication to spoken English. Many signs such as "eat" or "drink" are very iconic and will be easier for your child to remember than the spoken word. Having a deaf brother, Micheline picked up sign language long before her spoken English became functional for her.

If you don't have time for a formal course in sign language, there are programs you can purchase to study basic signs on your own, whether for teaching babies or for an older child. There are also sign language dictionaries on the internet that show movement and how the sign is made. This is much easier than trying to figure out a sign from a two dimensional picture in a book.

Don't be afraid to use your body to gesture or act things out to get your point across. Caleb recently wanted to know if he could ride his bicycle and when I told him no, he mimed going to sleep, then waking up, and then riding a bike with a questioning expression. He was clearly asking me if he could ride the next day after he woke up. After that much effort, how could I say anything but yes?

The second tool mentioned for facilitating communication with your child is to learn key phrases in your child's native tongue. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done if you are using a regular language course or travel guide. "How much will the hotel room cost?" or "Where can I buy a beer?" (honestly taken from a popular language course) don't exactly help much when you are adopting a young child...unless of course things are progressing so bad you feel like you need a drink and a hotel room away from it all! :-)

You might be able to purchase CD's that teach parents how to say key phrases to their child. Some are definitely better than others. As I don't want to be a product reviewer on this one, let's just say that one I purchased for Haitian Creole was excellent. Phrases were repeated slowly, and more than once.

A different company sells CD's in a variety of languages designed for the adoptive parent to speak to their child. The one I bought in Mandarin Chinese was a waste of my money. I threw it out because I found no benefit from it. It might have said the sentences twice if I remember correctly, but it said them so fast, it was impossible to pick up any of it for future use with Caleb.

A better option might be to find a native speaker in your area and ask them if they would be willing to teach you some simple phrases. If you don't have any friends who speak your child's language, a nearby university is often a great resource. If you live too far away from the nearest university, restaurant owners of ethnic restaurants are often delighted to teach you a few phrases when they learn you are adopting a child who speaks their native tongue.

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