Over at the Christian Adoption blog, we’ve been talking about the love of spiritual family; the love of physical family; and the love of biological family. As we are in the process of adopting a sibling set, I’d like to speak to the love of siblings.

As an only child myself, I have absolutely no framework for sibling love. I don’t understand the bond; I can’t get my mind around how it must feel to have someone in your family that has the same mom and/or dad that you do.

I have watched my husband and his brother, however. They are a scant 18 months apart, and extremely close. And now, as our own adoption finalization nears, I see the devotion my two newest children have for each other, and the love they have for my son and the love he has for them.

My daughter is “the gatekeeper.” Without going into their private stories, my daughter was her brother’s protector in their pre-adoptive life. Until her recent hospitalization for a medical condition she has, the two sibs had never been apart from each other overnight before. If my daughter does something, so does her younger brother - whether he understands it or not. If she’s okay with something or someone, so is he. He looks to her for cues as to whether this new thing is okay or not. I love their fierce protectiveness of, and devotion to, each other.

They have an older brother who is being cared for by their birth grandparents. One of the many reasons we are pursuing an open adoption is so that they can re-establish ties with this sibling. He, being older, clearly remembers them, and my daughter remembers him, and speaks of him, as well. In corresponding with my children’s birth grandmother, it is one of her fondest desires that the sibs keep in contact with each other, and I pray that is so.

Once the adoption becomes final, my children will have another older brother – my biological son. Though he has been an only child, lo, these nine years, thus far, he is clearly “big brother” material and loves kids of all ages. When we visited the kids, he watched out for them. My youngest son was glued to him; preferring only to hold his hand across streets, sit next to him, sleep next to him … everything. Given my daughter’s role as her little brother’s protector, I thought she might have her nose out of joint about her brother’s “defection,” however, she seemed more than ready to be a younger sibling and have an older brother to care for her.

Because I have witnessed firsthand the love my husband and his brother share for each other, and my own recollection of lonely, bored days without a sibling, I am looking forward to seeing my children forge lifelong friendships with each other. I see my husband and his brother fondly recalling shared childhood memories, cracking up over crafty capers they are sure they got away with without my in-laws knowledge – so much love there, it makes my heart ache for the same for my children. The love of siblings – there are few greater joys.