My oldest daughter hates it when I write about her, she’s a private person and wants to put the past behind her. Therefore, I apologize “J,” but I feel compelled to write about our concerns for your little sister, she is my daughter, too. Little sister “R” is 18, almost 19, and is making some really bad choices. It has to do with that teenage brain thing; you know they don’t use the same part of their brain as an adult.

“R’s” first bad choice was moving out the month of her eighteenth birthday. She did move in with her older sister, “J” so she finished her first year of college. She was riding on three scholarships, so she wouldn’t have any out of pocket cost to finish her associate degree.

Well, she decided to get her own apartment with one of her coworkers a few months ago and her sister “J.” supported this decision. She had been partying for the past year, but as you may expect, it got worse without big sister’s watchful eyes. A couple of weeks ago she told big sister “J” that she dropped out of college. “R” is one of those people that always does well on test, so she didn’t drop out because it was too hard.

“J” became really upset with “R” because that is exactly what “J’ did when she was 18. Now, “J” has gone back to school and is paying for it herself, working full time, and caring for an infant and a toddler. “J” had two scholarships, which would have paid all of her expenses six years ago.

Her little sister, “R” watched her balance college and family while she lived with her for a year. Why would she make such a stupid decision? Why can’t she see that she is on easy street right now with scholarships and no responsibilities?

“J” yelled at her, “R” stormed out of the house, and they haven’t spoken since. I listened and I gently reminded “J” that she had done the same thing. She acknowledged that and mulled it over for a week or so.

Why do teenagers have to use a different part of their brain? Why do they insist on acting so irrationally? Do you think it is a built in severance device to force them to become independent from their parents and begin their own life?


When an Adopted Older Child Leaves Home Angry
It’s True! Adopting Special Needs Children Can Make You Nuts
Teen rebellion or Brain Function
Why should siblings be placed together?

Photo Credit