If you've adopted a post-institutionalized child who is at least 5 years old, you have faced the dilemna of whether or not your child is ready for school. If your child doesn't yet speak English, you may not be comfortable placing them immediately into school. Sitting in a classroom for 6 or more hours a day when you can't understand a word that is being said can be quite overwhelming.

Some parents don't have a choice in whether or not to keep their child at home a bit longer because they must return to work. Other parents feel that children pick up language much faster if they are immediately immersed in it by attending school, but f you have a choice, it is beneficial to weigh the pros and cons, and consider the age and maturity of your child, as well as how attached he currently is to your family.

If your child doesn't speak English but is only 5 or 6, her transition will be much easier than if your child is much older. After all, many other five and six year olds aren't yet reading and writing even if English was their first langugage. Hence, your child won't be as far behind her peers.

Our son Caleb, however, came home at age 11 reading and writing fluent Chinese, but with no handle on spoken English at all, much less reading and writing it. We decided to keep him home this whole semester to just integrate him into our family, let him ease into American culture, and begin to speak more English before he was expected to read and write it.

We are considering enrolling him in public school two years behind his age level because that is the grade that he would have been going into had he remained in China. The fact that he is very small and also socially immature will help him to blend into the younger grade. If we determine in the fall, however, that he is not ready yet for school, we will continue to homeschool him. I've read enough horror stories of parents doing 3 and 4 hours of homework with their children because their child had no idea of what was expected at school due to a lack of English comprehension. Many of these children are also flunking quite a few of their subjects. When you're in 7th or 8th grade but only read at a second grade level, it's pretty hard to keep up with the pace of your classes.

I would much rather do 3-4 hours of school with Caleb in the morning when he is still fresh and wanting to learn, rather than doing it at the end of the day when he is exhausted. He already resists going to church and sitting in a Sunday school class because as he put it, it is "English, English, English! No Chinese! I no understand!" And that is only for one hour. I can't imagine the fatigue he would have after all day.

Theresa, on the adoptive parenting blog has spoken often about how attaching to a family comes first in their home, even before academics. 10 years ago, not having adopted yet, I would have been clueless what she was talking about. Now after 3 adoptions, I couldn't agree with her more.

Staying at home with me and two other siblings has facilitated Caleb's attachment to our family. His brother Ben is deaf, and Caleb has picked up sign language much faster than he has picked up English. Had I sent him immediately off to school, he would not have had the daily interaction with Ben that has allowed him to communicate more fully with his brother. He also would have been stuck eating either cafeteria food or a packed lunch. Seeing how he can't stand peanut butter and isn't wild about lunchmeats, I think he would have had a thermos everyday of rice or noodles. Instead, he has learned how to cook at home with me supervising, as we have had many of his Chinese food favorites for lunch.

Of course what is best for one child might not be the answer for another. What have your experiences been? If you adopted an older child who didn't yet speak English did you homeschool for awhile or even long term? Did you put them directly into school upon their arrival in America? I'd love to have your ideas and input on what worked best for your child and your family. If you don't want to comment here, drop me a line at siblingadoptionblog@adoptionmail.com

Related links:

International adoptees starting school

School readiness and placement of an internationally adopted, post-institutionalized child

How to make school a good experience for kids