"I'm not a racist". You hear it often, and perhaps even say those words yourself. As a mother of four biological children with British/German/Hispanic ancestry, two Chinese sons and a Haitian daughter, I have always felt myself to be very open minded when it comes to race, even to the point where I felt I could state with confidence, "I'm not a racist."

I feel as if I successfully model to my children that we don't judge people based on the color of their skin. After all, my children have spoken of friends and it wasn't until I met them that I saw they were African-American or Hispanic. To my children, applying that label was not necessary.

When I read an incredibly eye-opening article by Elizabeth Armstrong published in the Christian Science Monitor February 2004, however, it made me stop and think. Do I have subtle biases against those of other races, of which I might not even be overtly aware?

I don't remember his face as a whole, but there are details I doubt I'll ever forget. His eyes were dark and flickering; his weathered velvet skin revealed the slightest hint of stubble around his mouth, and the muscles in his jaw clenched as he met my gaze.

But those are details and they come later.

First there was only a question: "Excuse me, but do you have any quarters?"

Ms. Armstrong discovered later that she was being asked for change for a dollar, but at first glance assumed the man was begging for money without even listening closely to his request...just because the man was black.

I first read this article almost 3 years ago and it had a strong enough impact on me that it has stayed with me. Not necessarily in the forefront of my mind, but always nagging in my subconscious, especially when I make a judgment call about someone based on the color of their skin or the way they are dressed. I've never considered myself to be racist, but realized after reading this, that we daily make judgments about people based on their appearance.

After being humiliated by her realization how she had clearly misjudged this man, Armstrong stated:

And so I no longer say I am not racist. I am tired of hearing it, tired of listening to the people I know - dark and light, rich and poor, young and old - convince themselves over and over that they do not harbor such judgments. And I'm tired of convincing myself that employing "politically correct" terminology somehow renders me less capable of racism, tired of ignoring my own actions, which are at times so subtle I can actually pretend they don't exist.

...I am determined to look these moments in the face and know them, one by one, until I can conquer each as they come.

It will not be an easy road. And it shouldn't be.

I encourage you to click on the link above and read the entire article, and then examine how it makes you feel inside. As Armstrong states, for some of us it will not be an easy road...and it shouldn't be.

Photo Credit Ellen M. Banner, Seattle Times