Continued from part 1

I actually stand in awe that this little guy doesn't have more of them. He is in a strange country with a family who all speak a different language. He is assaulted with smells he is not used to and foods he may not enjoy. We do our best to give him comfort foods he is used to, as well as books written in Chinese and movies and CD's in Chinese, but it doesn't change the fact that he knows he is here forever, and probably has very mixed emotions about it.

Right now, our biggest issue is language and communication. Since we all use sign language, we have tried to ease his transition to English with added gestures and signs, and so far it is helping. When he can't always remember an English word, he will sometimes sign it to me instead. This isn't enough, however for an 11 year old boy who was fluent in Mandarin and must surely be beyond frustrated when he can't communicate clearly what he is feeling.

We visited a Chinese friend yesterday who is fluent in Mandarin. When we left her home, my heart broke as Caleb climbed into the car and fell into silence. He chatters away to me in Chinese on occasion, but he knows I don't understand most of what he is saying. At her home, however, he chatters away and she talks back...in a language he fully understands! How freeing that must feel to him!

When I brought him inside today, he probably knew he had done something wrong, and he knew the routine of what would happen. He chose a meltdown instead, but I can't say that I fault him.

I drove around yesterday on some errands that ended up being incredibly frustrating. Coming home in rush hour traffic with tired and hungry kids sniping at each other in the back seat is never fun. Add that to the fact that I was driving and couldn't use a picture dictionary at the same time so I couldn't tell Caleb where we were headed next and why, and he was whining, "Mama, hungry." over and over. By the time I arrived home, I was ready for a meltdown of my own, and I supposedly have adult coping mechanisms, and a language in which I could vent to my husband. Caleb doesn't have either right now. I wonder the next time we are both upset, if he will let me join him under the bed?

Next...tools for dealing with language issues and meltdowns