This is a photo of Nicole and Caleb, taken on the day of Ben's birthday last month. She is my oldest, and although he isn't the youngest, he has been in our family for the least amount of time, having arrived home with us from China mid-January.

Although her siblings can make her crazy at times, I think her love for him is evident in her face. When we announced that we would be adopting Micheline back in 1998, she had a look of concern and asked if we would be raising young children at the same time.

It wasn't too much later that Jeff and I were discussing how we needed to change our will. My parents had been designated in our will as the guardians of our children should anything happen to us, but as they are not getting any younger and as our family size has grown, we had started to wonder if we needed to make other plans.

Jeff and I both felt that the best move would be to ask Nicole and her husband if they would be willing to be the children's guardians instead of her grandparents, but were hesitant about asking them. After all, they were just starting out together, and strapping them with responsibility for siblings didn't sound like something they might want to do.

I remember when I was newly married and discovered that my in-laws had designated Jeff and I as guardians of their 3 children who were still under 18 should anything happen to them. Of course we said we would be willing to do it, but at the same time I also remember praying "Dear God, don't let them both die because I'm not ready to be a mother to 3 children, two of them barely younger than I."

Having that memory didn't make it any easier to approach Nicole and her husband. Thankfully, however, we didn't have to. After Micheline's adoption, they came to us one night and said, "We feel like if anything happened to the two of you, we should be the ones who would raise the other kids, not Grandma and Grandpa."

Although I am sure like myself 25 years ago they probably include "Don't let Mom and Dad die before the others grow up!" in their daily prayers, I am grateful for their love and compassion in offering what would be in the best interests of younger siblings.

Unlike I, however, who didn't have the courage to voice it to my in-laws aloud, Nicole added, "But you dang well better have enough life insurance!"

related links:
Choosing Your Child's Guardian
Acceptance