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As I have said before, not every family is ready, willing and able to be a therapeutic family. Not every family is ready, willing and able to become culturally diverse and perhaps find themselves on a different side of the racial divide. Even when we think we are ready, willing, and able…. Are we? I wasn’t! I had no clue!
There are many, many similarities between adoptive parenting and “regular” parenting. And there are some distinct differences. I was totally unprepared for those differences. I thought I would allow for a “brief” adjustment period (about six months?) with my newly adopted toddler, and we would then roll merrily on our way. NOT. I expected to discuss adoption occasionally, and to embrace culture in some capacity (I really didn’t know what that meant, either) but I really, really had no idea about the different dynamics of adoptive parenting.
I have gained the knowledge I needed (although I have much to learn) but that knowledge didn’t have the desired impact upon my 18 year old daughter. I have honed my parenting abilities, and compared to those who have not been tested as I have, I am a ways down the road. My skill set and knowledge allowed me to impact Beth… and I most certainly had the desire.
I recently received an email from an adoptive parent with a half dozen children who wondered how often I heard about disrupting toddlers or pre-schoolers. She recognizes she has developed the skills, abilities and knowledge to provide the right kind of environment for a traumatized child with attachment issues… and she has the desire. So she would be a great placement for a child with those issues. But many folks are not prepared for that scenario. Were you? Are you?
