“It must be terrible living by an adoptive family with so many children. There must be so much noise with all of those children playing, arguing, and fighting. Have they vandalized much of your property?” My retired neighbor shared these comments with me that one of her friends had made. She also shared the response that she gave her friend. “No, it isn’t terrible living by an adoptive family because we hardly hear the children. One or two of the children will occasionally come over to visit with me and I enjoy their company.”

Well that was nice of her to share that with me. I hadn’t really thought about how our decision to adopt sibling groups would affect our neighbors. It was just over 15 years ago that we bought our house from this already retired couple. I can easily keep track of the purchase date because I was six months pregnant for Lane when we moved here. We had two sons already at the time ages three and nine. The couple liked the rural farming area; they just wanted a smaller house, so they built one right across the street. Their front door is actually lined up with our front door.

They listed the farm for sale by owner. They screened all potential buyers and they decided we were normal enough to have for neighbors so they let us buy it. At the time, they thought they were selling their home to a hardworking family of five with both adult employed full-time and children at daycare. We were that for about a year.

Then we decided to become licensed foster parents to adopt a little girl without having to pay a lot of money. Of course, that was about 100 children ago. After 14 years of fostering, we never did get to keep a baby girl.

In the end, we chose to adopt an infant through a private, paid, interstate adoption. It was a little more difficult than it would have been 14 years ago when we only had three sons. Not many birthmothers dream of a family with nine children for their baby.

Did you think about how your decision to adopt would affect your neighbors before you adopted?

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2005