A reader asked me recently about enrolling her adopted children in sports. Another mentioned that her adopted child didn’t have the social skills to play a team sport. Rarely, in our 14 years of foster care, has a child come to us already active in any sport. Most of those children also lacked social skills. Our family, like Cindy’s over at the older child adoption blog, enjoys soccer. We also love floor hockey. Every child that has come through our doors has been enrolled in soccer, hockey, or both.

On the soccer field and hockey floor, the team members have assigned positions. They are team sports in the sense that many players are needed and each position can assist the other in scoring. However, they require very little one on one conversation to reach the goal.

The coach assigns the positions, pulls players out, and puts players in as needed. The better the player is at a position, the more time the player gets in the field or on the floor. If a player isn’t holding his or her own position, the other players are sure to say something.

I have always wondered how a child without social skills, is supposed to learn them, if not put into social situations. If you have several children close in age, they can sometimes play on the same team. These teams are usually coed, which increases the chance that siblings can play together. This reduces the number of trips that moms have to make to practices and games.

If your child plays well, he or she will receive praise from the team, the coach, and the spectators. That is a pretty good motivator for improving skills. Because you have siblings, they can practice at home once they get motivated.

This also offers the adoptive parents a chance to praise their child for skill or effort. Sometimes those opportunities are hard to find. Fresh air and exercise usually makes everyone feel better.

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2006