Do you ever feel that your "together time" as a family resembles The Munsters more than it does The Cleavers? I know I do! Our family tries to set apart Monday nights as time to be together without outside interruptions. Whether that becomes quality time...well that remains to be seen on some weeks.

Tonight, Taylor asked if he could go play flag football over at the park with some friends. I sighed as I answered that he knew it was family night, so no, he couldn't go until after 9 p.m.

I tire of other families trying to pull my kids away on Monday nights when they already know that we have that night designated just for us. He texted his friend back who replied that their game would be long over by the time he could arrive, so he was none too happy. He did the typical teenage "I'll be in my room if you need me" and went and shut the door. I went down to his room and reminded him that I had asked him to give the short lesson to which he groaned in response and rolled over in bed telling me he was too tired. This from the boy who five minutes earlier wanted to go play flag football?

I told Alyssa it was time to get off the phone with her friend, gathered the younger ones who were busy finishing school work that they had neglected earlier in the day, and got them all settled in the living room. Of course they needed to argue about who was going to sit where and who didn't want to sit next to whom. As you can see, the quality of the evening was just increasing exponentially!

I like to start our Family Home Evening with a song, but the piano book we usually use wasn't on the piano, so we decided to go ahead and sing a capella. Caleb said he couldn't sing in English, although this is a boy whose English is taking off in leaps and bounds. He decided to pout that we weren't going to try to sing from his Chinese songbook, and even though we were signing for Ben, rather than join us in signing the song, Ben preferred to pull Caleb's Chinese book away from him that he had been reading. While some of us sang, they argued back and forth in a mixture of sign language and broken English.

Taylor was none too happy to be roused out of bed, so he sat silently while the rest of us sang. Micheline didn't even notice him as she more than made up for him by singing loudly and happily. At least one of us was on board for wanting family night!

After the song and a prayer, Jeff tried to go over what was coming up this week that everyone might need to be aware of, but the calendar had mysteriously disappeared from the wall. So, he quickly moved on to why we now have a lock on the door going out into the garage storeroom. Ben and Caleb have not been respecting other's belongings, nor have they been taking care of their toys, so many belongings were removed today to the storeroom. Food has been mysteriously disappearing from the storeroom only to be hoarded in their bedroom, and they also don't always make sure the freezer door is shut when they walk out of the storeroom. Hence, the lock until behavior improves, so I don't go crazy trying to watch them every minute of the day.

Taylor tried to give his lesson, but his heart was clearly not in it, and he was ticked that the little ones didn't want to pay attention. I wish I had a video of the times he hung upside down on the couch when I was trying to give a family night lesson.

After the lesson, I consented to watch a church video in Mandarin Chinese so Caleb could fully understand. Taylor retreated back to his bed where he crashed for the night, and Alyssa decided to make a cake while the rest of us listened in Chinese, but read the captions in English. Well....at least those of us who could read did. Ben can't really keep up with the captions although he tries, and Micheline was more interested in making repeated trips to the kitchen for blackberries to pop in her mouth. I was too tired to interpret for Ben but he was content to watch the action on the screen and he knew the story line anyway.

When the DVD ended the younger ones wanted a snack, Alyssa had by now retreated to her bedroom as well, and it was time for showers and bed. Caleb and Ben argued about who dropped which towel on the floor and Micheline begged me to read a book but then headed for the bathroom telling me she had a stomach ache.

Ben had chosen not to wash his hair even though he loves staying in the shower forever with scalding hot water pounding on him. Gotta love those sensory issues! I am convinced that the day he moves out our water and gas bills will be cut in half. He didn't want to get back in the shower, so he proceeded to lather up his hair in the bathroom sink and make silly kewpie doll type hairdos in the mirror sending Micheline and Caleb into fits of laughter rather than brushing their teeth. I too had a stomach ache and headed for my bathroom. Hmmm...wonder if it was something we ate today.

I then remembered I needed to return a call to Lynn at college as she had called earlier and when I came out of my bedroom, the boys were in bed reading, Micheline was asleep, and Jeff was half in and half out of wakefulness on Ben's bed. Those who were not comatose had family prayer together and Jeff headed off to bed while I came to the computer to blog.

I'm sure you're insanely jealous by now of the quality time our family has each week when we set aside time to just be together.
Actually, many weeks are much better as we play a game, watch something together or just have a discussion.

Although tonight felt like a total bust, I truly believe that consistency is key in children's lives...especially those who came from less than desirable first homes. They need to know that come heck or high water, yes, we do have family night on Monday nights, and that it is a time to emphasize that we are a family and a time to focus on relationships with each other.

Yesterday, I mentioned to the older ones, "Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten"...to which Taylor replied, "Gee thanks, Lilo!" I want to put that quote above the kids' photos on the living room wall whether they are enamored with the idea or not. Caleb was thrilled after his photo from the photo studio went up on the wall last month. I know it gave him a sense of belonging, and I truly believe family night does as well. Children need to know that parents are willing to put the rest of the world aside for one night a week to focus on just our immediate family and how we can improve.

Whether they choose to come to family night with a positive attitude or a negative one, however, is something that only they can decide. Just as you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink, you can call all the kids together, but their behavior still might stink. :)

Next...how to have a family night that runs a bit better than ours did tonight.

Photo Credit