Pardon me if I seem a bit perturbed today. I belong to a Yahoo group of homeschooling parents with a Christian focus and as such I was saddened last week to see many of them openly criticizing other parents who have chosen to send their kids to public school. Just like the working mom vs. stay at home mom argument, these women seem to have taken sides and feel that if you send your kids to public school you don't love them enough.

Excuse me? One woman, speaking of parents who send their kids to school because they needed a break even wrote, "And they chose to have children why?" as if sending your children to school means you should not have children. I wanted to ask, "What happened to 'he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone?' "

On the other end of the spectrum, I've seen "the look" when you mention your children are homeschooled to a parent who doesn't believe in it.
We weren't put on this earth, however, to satisfy other parents. I believe our main responsibility as parents is to do what is best for our particular children, regardless of what others may think or believe.

I have homeschooled my four youngest kids at various times, with Ben being homeschooled for 3 years now. I have never been of the philosophy, though, that all public schools are evil and set up by the government to corrupt our children as some think. I do believe that many public schools stifle creativity in our children and their love for learning, but there are trade-offs with every decision we make.

I believe that homeschooling can be a great option for many families and many children, but I also believe that there is a point where a mother just can't do it all. If you have a child with huge issues and diagnoses, it can be very draining to live with them 24/7.

My older children are all public school graduates, but I think they would have been much easier to homeschool than my current youngest children. After all, they grew up in a stable home environment since birth. My youngest 3 still have days where they wonder if adoption truly means forever, and I have days where forever sounds like too much to bear. I too need some time for myself since an empty well can't give water to others.

As a result, I have decided to place my youngest 3 in public school for the fall. Have I struggled with this decision even though the school where two of them will go is highly rated? You bet! One will be in 5th grade but is barely reading English on an early first grade level, having only lived here for 6 months. He's actually old enough to be in 7th grade, but middle school would eat him alive and spit out the pieces. I fear hours of homework each night that he won't understand, and hours during the day where he is bored because much of what is being said is over his head. He has reached a point, however, where he feels that he doesn't need school in America and is fighting our attempts every step of the way. Perhaps when he sees that yes indeed he does have to do school work he will be more appreciative of our homeschooling efforts. He may even desire to be homeschooled again, at which point we will reconsider what will best meet his needs.

To those homeschooling Moms who would believe if I truly loved my children I would never send them to school, I would just say "walk a mile in my shoes." Not all of us are raising little Beaver Cleavers. Don't get me wrong...I love my children, but I do need some time away from troubling issues in order to recharge. Some children's issues are more difficult than others, and to be a good Mom I need some time for myself. That is spelled R-E-S-P-I-T-E, not L-A-C-K O-F L-O-V-E.

I hope to be able to homeschool at least some of them some time in the future, but for now, this is what is best for our family. Stay tuned for the fall as we see how it all works out.

related links:
Socialization better taught at home or at school?
Deciding to Homeschool
Homeschooling Older Adopted Children
Homeschooling Adoptive Moms Weigh In