My daughter Alyssa's birthday was last Tuesday but we celebrated it tonight since she chose to hang out with her youth group at church on Tuesday. We've clearly reached the age where peers come before family celebrations! As I look back on her 14 seemingly short years, I am reminded of when she was born.

I had placenta previa and intermittent bleeding with my pregnancy so my doctor put me on modified bed rest for the last three months. You may ask "how do you modify bed rest? Turn the bed upside down? Stand on your head?" That was my thought, but it merely meant that I should rest as much as possible, keep my feet up and not do anything unnecessary such as dishes or vacuuming that could cause further bleeding problems.

As you can well imagine I was extremely saddened by that news...not! Seriously, however, it became very frustrating since I became further behind in life and housework by the day and couldn't take care of the 3 children I already had. It was at that time that I swore I was done with pregnancies and all that they entailed.

When Alyssa was only four days old, a good friend came over one evening to chat with me and just enjoy holding a newborn baby. We discussed how much we loved that sweet, fresh, newness that a few-days-old baby has and how quickly that disappears. When Tracy left, she said, "Well, I guess this is it for you and children since you aren't going to have any more." It hit me as hard as if someone had kicked me in the stomach.

After Tracy walked out the door, I'm sure it was hormonally induced, but as I rocked Alyssa and inhaled her newborn scent, I dissolved into a puddle of tears. A part of my life that I immensely enjoyed seemed officially over and I remember praying, asking God if this truly was it for me.

As I looked into her beautiful slate blue eyes that only a few months later would turn a deep chocolate brown, I clearly knew that Alyssa would not be my last. Jeff and I had discussed adoption in the past, and although we knew the timing was not yet, we also felt that it would happen at some point in the future.

Alyssa seemed to have a wisdom in her eyes that all of my newborns fresh from heaven have had. Her spirit seemed to tell me that she would not be the last and that she would help raise other younger siblings.

Before we adopted Benjamin, she was 6 years old and not happy about being booted out of the role of baby of the family. She went so far as to talk baby talk and acted quite immature for a few months before we traveled to adopt him, so I was worried about how she would handle it.

She has been amazing, however, in her transition from her role as youngest, to now being the middle child of seven. When Ben received a cochlear implant, her name was one of the first English words he ever uttered because she played speech games with him with the tenacity of an English Bulldog.

She calls Micheline "Munchkin, sweetie pie, my sweetheart", etc....when she isn't mad at her for the messes she makes, and she fills Caleb's days with "Wo ai Ni"'s when he kisses her on the cheek.

She clearly needs her time and space to be a 14 year old, but she also has very admirably stepped up to the plate in her role as a "jie jie" or older sister. Ben, Micheline and Caleb couldn't ask for a better older sister. Happy birthday Sweetie! We love you!