This is a continuation of our travel to Caleb. We are back in the States, but I will post the remainder of our trip on this blog.

January 8, 2007

We are back at the Victory Hotel which feels like home, having been here just a week ago. Before I retire to bed, I need to say that my heart is full....filled with love for the sweet little 11 year old boy who is quietly snoring in the next room. Ben sleeps silently, I so can tell just by sound when Caleb has finally dropped off to sleep.



He has been testing limits to see who is really in control and today I had a talk with him through one of our guides. He improved a bit but was still being rather obnoxious. I had to remind myself of all that he is going through, and I can't begin to imagine experiencing it myself. Being with a family with whom you can only communicate the simplest messages without an interpreter must be truly very frightening. When I asked him if he was afraid to get on the airplane in Wuhan,he said "yes", and asked Shasha what would happen if it fell out of the sky.

I noticed as we took off on the plane that he became quieter. He was afraid of the unknown I am sure, and when we landed in Guangzhou, he was greeted with much more Cantonese to his ears than Mandarin. Thankfully there are people here who still speak his language so he is not totally out of his comfort zone, but he didn't want to speak much to the guide on the bus who met us at the airport.

I got out my little booklet of phrases and asked him in halting Chinese if he was afraid. He nodded his head yes, so I took him by the hand. He didn't pull away at all as he has done sometimes in the past. I promised him through our guide that if he will help me, I will go to Chinese school so I can learn his language while he is learning mine. He seemed to like that idea.

When we arrived at the hotel and went to our room, he perked up a bit but wanted a big hug and wanted to sit on my lap. I have told him "Wo ai ni" many times even though I have heard that Chinese people just don't often say "I love you." He has repeated it and also parroted "I love you" when we pair it with the Mandarin. Tonight before he went to bed he came and asked for another big bear hug and he just held on for the longest time and said, "Wo ai ni, Mama."

I know we are nowhere near out of the woods with behavior issues and that it will truly become very difficult when he is in America and way out of his
comfort zone, but I know we will make it. He is frightened, but he knows we love him and will take care of him. I think of Jaclyn's story in The Waiting Child and how she told her mother that she was willing to go with her parents "because you fed me". Feeding him and taking care of him will go a long way towards knowing he will be safe and protected.

Meanwhile, I am just glowing in the warmth of his wonderful hugs and hearing him say, "Wo ai ni, Mama." I love you too, buddy boy...may you have sweet dreams tonight.