Continued from part 1

It's been below freezing here at night, so Toby has been coming in after Caleb was safely asleep in bed. Toby knows he is forbidden to enter bedrooms, so I wasn't worried about Caleb waking in the night with a dog in his face. However, he got up to use the bathroom last week in the middle of the night only to come face to face with the dog in the hallway. Toby was just doing his duty as anytime he hears children stirring he goes and checks on them. A scream of "Nooo! Nooo! Maaaamaaaa!", let me know that Caleb was not wild about the experience.

After realizing that Toby was in the house, Caleb wouldn't come out of his room. The next night he was a bit braver and would dart across the hall to the bathroom, but only after checking that the coast was clear. He would shoot an imaginary gun made out of his own index fingers at the dog, and Toby would merely yawn.

Yesterday I decided it was time to fast forward through the process just as we did with Micheline. We want Caleb to feel safe in our home so we have let him slowly adjust to having a dog around. Most older children from an institutional setting have already experienced trauma in their lives, and we didn't want to add to his fears by forcing the issue.

With unexpected snow and freezing temperatures during the day, however, Toby needed to come in and I didn't want to spend all day with a child on my kitchen counters. As before, Toby was put in a down/stay, and Caleb was encouraged to pet him. He refused. The other kids petted Toby and called to Caleb to come over. He refused again. Jeff gave him a pig's ear to give to the dog and he timidly handed it over and then returned to the safety of the counter. We took Toby for a walk and Caleb actually petted him as long as he didn't have to come near Toby's head.

I decided that it was time to have family prayer tonight in the family room rather than the safety of Caleb's bedroom. Of course Caleb was not wild about the idea, but as long as Toby was lying down at least 10 yards away, he consented to join us. As soon as "amen" was said, he scurried back to the safety of his bedroom. There were no screams of fear tonight, however, so progress is being made.

If your newly adopted child is afraid of animals, give them time. Perhaps interacting with a dog is as pleasant to them as interacting with a 6 foot long python would be to me. I believe the size of the animal is often a factor, because our children have always been more afraid of our larger pets. They were never afraid of the birds in their cage, and large rodents that would make many adults' skin crawl didn't even faze Micheline. Yes indeed, she loved Alyssa's rats, may they rest in peace.

We included photos of our pets in the photo albums that we sent to our children as part of our "Meet the family" letter. Seeing an animal in a two dimensional 4"x6" photo, however, is a bit different from seeing them in the flesh, so have patience and empathy for their fears.

I remember wondering if Micheline would ever overcome her fear of Toby or if we would end up having to find the dog another home. Just yesterday, however, Micheline sighed and said, "Caleb, you're such a baby! He's just a dog!" How quickly they forget.