Maybe it is because I homeschool my children, they feel they can share intimate thoughts with me. Maybe it is because I am mostly a stay at home mom and spend all day, every day with my children. Perhaps it is because I sometimes share information with them, especially the teenagers that they don’t think I should share. I don’t know the exact reason why my children share very personal information with me, but they do. I would have never had these conversations with my parents even when I was a teenager. My children would not have these conversations with Super Dad and they get embarrassed if they over hear me telling him about the conversation. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable having these conversations with my children, but I am glad that they trust me enough to do it.

For example, my 14-year-old son sat next to me while I typed a blog the other night. Out of the blue he starts talking about how often people have sex. Apparently, he had read some data indicating that the national average was once a week and he found this information alarming. I asked him if it was alarming because he thought it was too often or not often enough. He finally got around to his point. The data he had read indicated that it included multiple partners, which he found disgusting. Good for him, I think we are raising him right.

Once, when he was about nine, I overheard him having a conversation with one of the referees at a hockey game. He had gotten to know this referee and he knew that the man had a child, but wasn’t married to the child’s mother. He was telling him that he needed to marry his child’s mother. I hope this is an indicator that he will get married before having children.

Some of my other children have shared their first armpit hairs, their first pubic hairs, and their concerns over their maturing body parts. They have even discussed masturbating with me. Sometimes I plug my ears and sing. They laugh and think it’s funny and keep on talking. Many teenagers go through a phase where they think that their parents are stupid. I don’t think my teenagers see me that way or they wouldn’t share so much information with me. For that, I am thankful, but sometimes embarrassed.

When older children join our family and see the other children having open conversations with me, it seems to encourage them to do the same. Because they have been exposed to a seedier side of life I think, it is important for them to be able to discuss private issues and get accurate information. Although it can be difficult to begin having these conversations with your children, it is important and up to you to get it started.

Photo Credit 2007 Julia Fuller