So you’ve thought about another child and the pros and cons of adopting again. Yes, the paperwork can be on par with a migraine level headache, but like labor, once you have your child in your arms, the pain of it all is soon forgotten.

Before you decide to pursue another adoption, however, each parent should ideally ask herself, “Why do I want to adopt again?” Here are a few reasons that some parents have given:

• I want my child to experience life with a sibling.



• 
  I don’t want my child to be the only child of color in our family.



• 
  I don’t want my child to be the only adopted child in our family.




• 
  If/when I become incapacitated, I don’t want my child to have to bear the burden of my care alone.




• 
  I have a son (or daughter) and want to be able to choose a child of the opposite gender.



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• 
  I want to be able to save a child from the life they would have growing up in an institution.




• 
  I have the financial resources to raise another child.




• 
  I fell in love with a photo on a Waiting Children’s photo listing.




• 
  Ethiopian babies (insert any nationality here) are so cute.

While each of the above reasons—except maybe the last in my opinion-- has merit and will play into your decision of whether or not to adopt again, each reason doesn’t really have the strength to stand alone as a valid reason to pursue another adoption.

Especially the last reason. Ethiopian children—or Chinese, Haitian, Guatemalan, Russian, etc.—don’t stay babies forever. They grow up. Look at adults and elderly people of the race from which you want to adopt. Do you find them as equally beautiful as you do the babies of that race? Do you have the resources and the time to impart that child’s culture into his life? I don’t believe cuteness holds water as the only reason to adopt. If you want cute, go buy a puppy or a kitten.

For me, the only reason that can stand on its own when pursuing another adoption is, “I want to parent another child.”

• Yes, it is good for a child of color to have a sibling who looks like him, or for a child not to be the only adopted child in his family so that he has a sibling who can more fully understand his life experiences.




• Having the financial resources to share with a child is also well and good, as is wanting to save a child from life in an institution.




• Choosing the gender of your child is often a bonus in the adoption world that biological parents may not have.




• Having more than one child to help care for you or make financial decisions for you when you are 90 years old will also ease the burden that would be placed on your child if you only had one.

However, each of those reasons may not be strong enough when your child ends up with more special needs than you had counted on, or refuses to attach to your family for an extended period of time. Allowing your current child or children to have a sibling may be important to you, but your children are not meant to parent each other. You will be the parent, and you will be the one who must face the day in/day out experiences of raising another child.

Do you truly, deep in your heart want to raise another child? Are you willing to make a lifelong commitment to another human being that won’t end as soon as the cuteness factor wears off or when she becomes 18, whichever comes first? If you can answer yes to both of these questions, then go for it! Start the paperwork knowing that in your heart you were meant to be a parent again, not just the financial means to provide your current child with a sibling.

What do you think? Do you think any of the above reasons can stand on its own as a reason to adopt again? Drop me a line and let me know.