May 29th, 2008
Posted By:
Categories: Bonding

My youngest son has been sick and throwing up. In deconstructing our day, my husband asked me if I found a difference between cleaning up after our adopted siblings than I did our biological son. My answer was that I don’t like cleaning up after any of them!

But, the point I think he was trying to raise had to do with bonding with your adopted children. When we first went back to visit the kids, my youngest was having sinus issues that caused mucous to build up, thus he threw up then, too (he’s not a prolific barfer, it just so happens that this is what happened!). I didn’t have a problem bathing the kids, but, yeah, wiping behinds and other bodily fluids took a little getting used to.

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Do I love my adopted kids less? No. I, honestly think it’s just a learning curve in the bonding process. Did I love the mustard-y poop my biological son produced the first time I had to change his diaper? Ditto with scooping up after our cat after bringing her home. Again, it’s a learning curve.

We’ve only known my two youngest for slightly over one year. In that time, hubby and I have shared many a slobbery kiss, many instances of morning breath, grooming, cleaning, and bathroom “assistance calls” and other instances of close proximity. The fact that you do clean up time after time after time shows the depths of love you have for another human being. For married people, think back to the first few weeks of sharing space with your spouse. It’s that same learning curve.

Don’t get me wrong, hubby asked more out of a “wonderment” that it doesn’t really gross us out anymore – a sure sign the grafting of our family tree has finally “taken.”

After a year of parenting our new children, their bodily fluids become less and less foreign to us, as we share our space, our love and our germs with each other!

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3 Responses to “Bonding Differences Between Biological and Adopted Children”

  1. garegare says:

    Bonding is critical at such a young age for these little ones. I think the formative years are precious, thats why I can hardly turn away from this crazy show Baby Borrowers on NBC. Parents loan their babies to teen couples to see if they are prepared to parent. what do you think of that craziness?

  2. I’ve never heard of the show! Wow!

  3. bhavnarana says:

    I enjoy your blog. We adopted two years ago and I really like hearing others stories.I am building a site called adoption details.com. It has general adoption information.I look for to reading more about others journey to adoption.

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