e-mail
My children’s birth aunt will be getting married next month. According to my children’s maternal birth grandmother, she’ll be sending us pictures and a copy of the invitation for the kids. We’ve seen pictures of her intended via e-mail and the children are very excited. The children and I are working on a joint gift for her that we hope she and her new husband will enjoy!
It’s been wonderful to continue to have our open adoption with the children’s birth family. My two youngest share the same mom, and have an older brother in the care of this grandmother. The kids remember their older brother and he remembers them. They enjoy talking on the phone with each other and reminiscing about times they’ve shared together.
The aunt who is getting married, and their grandmother, have both ensured that the kids are e-mailed pictures of their older brother, with each having sent numerous pictures from family vacations and the like. In the same manner, I often e-mail pictures right after a particularly memorable event, so their birth family can share “in the moment” and see the real-time growth and development of the kids (particularly after a lost tooth, etc.)
I have to confess to being slightly nervous about the upcoming nuptials, as it will be our first “major” birth family “event” (we’ve got a few successful holidays under our collective belts already)! Because of my ADD, I’m often nervous about saying or doing the wrong things, and with open adoptions, there isn’t an etiquette book one can turn to for protocol! The relatives I’m most closely acquainted with seem to be genuinely down-to-earth people, and I’m sure it will all work out fine. I just know from experience that weddings are a very high stress time of life for anyone! So, to have interaction at such a time, and wanting to keep an appropriate distance so as not to intrude on this time, the possibility of having something you say or do (or not say or do) misinterpreted (by either party – birth or adoptive) is all-too-real to me.
I think having the kids work on something with me has been a great way to keep occupied during this time of intense pressure, as well as really giving their aunt something meaningful for this special occasion! I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going!
Photo credit: Stock Xchng
