Any parent can tell you the woes of getting a child to bed...especially one who does not want to be there or stay there. "Mah-ahm (spoken in two elongated pitches), I'm thirsty," "Mom, I need to go to the bathroom", or "Mom, I need the hall light on". The list can seem endless at the end of a long day when you just want the little ones in bed so you can have some time for yourself.

Over on the adoptive parenting blog, Theresa wrote about afterschool routines. Her list of "snack, chore, bedroom, homework", brought to mind a bedtime routine we have had since our oldest--now 23 and married--was young. It is one that we have neglected a bit lately and need to get back into.

When Jeff and I took a parenting class many moons ago we adopted a bedtime routine from our teachers called "P,P,B,B," otherwise known as "potty, prayer, book, bed." The beauty of it is that once you have hit the last "B", meaning bed, you have taken care of all of your children's stalling tactics.

Potty: This comes first and includes everything that can be done in the bathroom. Make sure your child uses the toilet or pulls on a pull-up if necessary.
Next, they wash their hands and brush their teeth. Obviously if they need a shower or bath, you will take care of it at this time as well. Have a small cup available and they can have their drink of water at the same time as they brush their teeth. Fill the cup with about an inch or two of water when they are done and take it with you to their bedroom.

Prayer: After our children have taken care of all of their bathroom needs, we call them together for family prayer. We found this was best after the potty part was taken care of first; otherwise, they will use an excuse such as "I need to go potty" instead of coming for prayer. We had prayer rotating in different children's bedrooms when they were young so they didn't have a chance to escape to the family room or living room. You already have them captive in their bedroom as soon as the prayer is finished. :)

Book: Next we read a book of the child's/children's choice. We found this worked best after family prayer because they have started to calm down and are ready to listen. If you read first and then try to have prayer, they may either already be falling asleep and not want to get out of bed, or they may resent it when you stop reading and say it is prayer time. When prayer time follows reading, you might end up with a child who starts to resist and resent praying.

Of course if you don't want to include prayer time as part of your routine, you can jump to the "book" part of your routine right after the potty part. I try to limit the reading with my children to 15-20 minutes or you might find that they will try to use the excuse all over again that they need to go to the bathroom. Sort of along the lines of "If you give a mouse a cookie..." if you know what I mean.

Bed: When reading time is finished, it is time for lights out. If you brought the cup of water in to their bedside, you are already a step ahead of them when they ask for yet another drink. If they don't ask for it, you can always take it out with you when you leave the room, or you can leave it for them should they want it in the middle of the night.

This is a great routine for children who don't have any trauma related to night time or fears of the dark. When Nicole and Lynn were young, we could just say "potty, prayer, book, bed" and they knew what was expected of them. For children with additional issues, read about night-time troubles here.

Why bedtime matters

New Parents: How to get the sleep you need