On the way to monthly individual appointments with the psychiatrist, I always tell my adopted daughters to be honest with the doctor. Each month I remind them that the doctor cannot help them if they are not honest with him. Neither the doctor nor mom can know exactly what is going on in their brains. The only way to find out if a medication can help them is to tell the doctor what they are thinking or feeling. Mom can only give the doctor her observations, which probably isn’t an accurate assessment of her daughters’ thinking. When children have suffered trauma as my adopted daughters have it is difficult to understand their motivation or read their feelings at times.

This week it was my 10-year-old daughters turn to visit the psychiatrist. She had a difficult time last week with following through on tasks assigned to her. I reminded her of this on the way into the office. However, when the doctor asked her how she was doing she told him that she wasn’t having any difficulty concentrating. She told him that her current medication was allowing her to concentrate throughout the day. She said that there wasn’t a time during the day when she noticed a significant drop in her ability to concentrate. Currently she takes 18mg of Adderall in the morning and 36 mg of Strattera at suppertime.

I then asked her why she didn’t do her work most of last week if it wasn’t a concentration issue. In front of her doctor, she admitted to being obstinate last week. She didn’t do her work because she didn’t want to do it. He asked if she was angry with anyone. She denied being angry; in fact, she told him that she was quite happy. I restated the question and asked if she thought she was angry with me and that is why she didn’t do her work. She said she was not angry with me or with anyone else in the household.

While I wasn’t happy with her for not doing her work last week, I was happy that she was being honest. I was also happy that she wasn’t making up excuses. She took full responsibility for her actions. I think this is a sign that she is maturing and accepting her new role as a member of our family.

Photo Credit 2006 Julia Fuller