After a few years of two steps forward, one step back with some of our kids, we finally found an amazing attachment therapist. I tried a psychologist and social worker or two in the past whose eyes kind of glazed over and who said, "huh?" when I questioned them on their experience with adoption and attachment.

Another who advertised herself as being well-versed in adoption issues had a website where she was wearing face paint in stripes across her cheeks, and held a drum on her lap. Her website said she led women's drumming groups through self-discovery and awareness weekends, and that she went into the mountains every other weekend to "find herself" in her drumming circles. I figured a woman who was still finding herself was probably too busy with her own issues to help my children find themselves as well.

So how do you find a decent attachment therapist? If I lived in Washington, I'd reach for the phone and call Deborah Gray,author of Attaching in Adoption but since she's a bit too far from where I live, I found myself wondering which direction to turn.

Based on my trial and error experiences, here are some suggestions for finding an attachment therapist.

Ask your social services department of either your homestudy agency or placing agency.
Unfortunately, our placing agency is located at least 1500 miles away, so their expertise for my local area was nil. Our homestudy agency, however, was able to give me a few names to start calling locally.


Ask other foster/adoptive parents.
Especially if these parents are fostering or have adopted older children, chances are good they have dealt with attachment issues in their home. Ask them who they have seen, and whether or not they were helpful. Don't be afraid to ask who they would not recommend. Some parents might not volunteer that information unless you ask, and there is no sense in wasting valuable time going to a therapist whom others have already deemed as worthless when it comes to attachment therapy.

Search the internet. Attachment.org has a list of attachment therapists by state who have been recommended by other parents.

Contact local adoption resource groups. Groups such as Families with Children from China (FCC) or Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption (FRUA)most likely have members who have used attachment therapists. Contact your local chapter and ask for any references they might have.