Families who adopt infants sometimes believe that with their love and care their child will develop normally, without any special needs. However, if there are older siblings, it is wise to consider their diagnoses if they have them. Many conditions are hereditary in nature. While a loving and stimulating environment will give a child the best possible future outcome, it doesn’t erase genetic predisposition.

I have a friend who adopted two brothers, 11 months apart in age. The boys were placed in her home at birth, through the foster care system. She had met four of their older siblings, prior to adopting the boys. The older siblings have ADHD and they were glasses.

For about the past year, she has had difficulty with the activity level of the boys, including complaints from daycare and Head Start. She and her husband rarely take both boys anywhere; they take one at a time with them.

The other day, one of the boys was goofing off, and fell in their bonfire pit during a family get together at their home. Fortunately, for him, only one of his arms was burned and he isn’t experiencing too much pain. I think she has accepted that the boys probably have ADHD.

The first brother was diagnosed with cerebral palsy (CP) shortly after birth. She was diligent in pursuing physical therapy for him and he seemed to progress close to an age appropriate level. Then she accepted placement of his full sibling.

When little brother was a few weeks old, he was also diagnosed with CP. The same therapies were pursued for him. He too seemed to be progressing well. When he was about two and a half, he woke up one morning and refused to walk. One of his knees was swollen and very sore.

The pediatrician referred him to a neurologist. The neurologist looked at it and then referred him to the children’s specialty hospital. It looks like he has developed rheumatoid arthritis at the age of two. Apparently, this can be a complication of having CP.

The boys are not showing any signs of potty training and the oldest is five. During a recent visit to an urologist, it was determined that because of the CP, they lack feeling or control in the muscles required for potty training.

I have to look at the situation and wonder if my friend really knew what she was committing too. Don’t get me wrong, she loves her boys and she is diligent in pursuing specialist, therapies, and services. However, it is beginning to look like she and her husband may need to parent these children well beyond the age of 18. Unfortunately, her husband had planned to retire next year.

Many people adopt infants and later realize how much of a commitment they have made. Many diagnoses such as ADHD are not made until children begin attending school. It is important for adoptive parents to look at family history when they are considering adoption. They should ask themselves if they could accept the worst-case scenario, when looking at family history.

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