I know it is inevitable that older adopted children will return to their birth family, but it is painful for the adoptive family to watch, and it does not make any sense from a logical standpoint. My now adult children have been flocking to their birth families’ houses on holidays and birthdays since they turned 18. Even though we adopted them through the foster care system, we maintained contact with the birth family members because of their ages at the time, nine and 15. Only one aunt sent cards and notes every single year for Christmas and birthdays so... more

If you had brothers and sisters when you was growing up then you probably noticed that mom and dad were the toughest on the oldest child. Then those rules and idealisms were worn down with each consecutive child. The oldest may have had a nine o’clock curfew and by the time, they got to the youngest it was midnight. When my 24-year-old son was a toddler, I thought he should be potty trained by 18 months. Now how unrealistic was that? I actually asked his daycare workers if they were trying hard enough to take him to the bathroom. He was off the bottle at 12 months on the dot and... more

Ah, Christmas day, our house looks like a tornado flew through from the living room through the kitchen and dining room and coming to rest in the playroom. If you can imagine eight children, ripping open packages at lightning speed with shreds of colorful wrapping paper flying around the room, then you have some idea of what our house looks like right now. I can only take comfort knowing that Cindy’s House is probably worse than mine right now, since she still has 20 children at home. To borrow a phrase from The Christmas... more

It was the morning of Christmas Eve and I had not yet wrapped any presents, not even one. Super Dad took the initiative and began wrapping the gifts we needed for tonight’s celebration with his family. I began separating gifts into piles based on whom they were for very slowly. I am surprised that Super Dad didn’t say anything to me because for the most part I just sat there in a kind of stupor. I have been suffering from depression for the last several weeks, perhaps you could tell by the tone of by writing. I just could not get into the holiday spirit. I went... more

First, allow me to admit that I was stupid to take three children with me powering shop for Christmas presents. I was suffering from the “I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my children because I worked today,” syndrome. I know that this syndrome plagues many working parents. I had it especially bad when I used to work full time outside the home. There I was at Meijer with two full shopping carts and three children in tow.

The first three hours went pretty well, but then we became thirsty. We bought drinks from the snack shop located within the store and... more

Ok, so I live under a rock. Honestly, I live in this little sheltered world of my own rather oblivious to the daily goings on of the world around me. Sometimes, when people tell me a joke or refer to something, I just don’t get it. Sometimes, the meaning will come to me, eventually weeks later. About the third time, someone asked me if my daughter was mixed, it finally came to me what they meant. It happened over a period of about six months. Three different black women, who I only see on Tuesdays during the school year, asked me if my daughter is mixed.

The... more

My baby turned 15 yesterday. Had Super Dad and I not pursued foster care, which led to adoption, then we would be three years away from empty nesters. It is hard to imagine what life would have been like just raising three sons. Happy birthday little Lane, your life is so different having 10 siblings then it would have been.

You have become quite skilled at changing poopy diapers, something that your future wife will surely appreciate. You have learned to share everything you own, but most importantly your time. You have learned first hand about child and substance abuse.... more

Enough of the Christmas badgering, I can’t take much more. My eight year old is completely obsessed with Christmas gifts this year. The thought of gifts hiding in the closet is apparently driving him nuts. He must have asked me 50 times today, what he was getting for Christmas. What was I going to put in his stocking?

When he received his allowance today, he tried bribing me. Was there a gift he could buy from me for eight dollars? No, well could he make a down payment on a gift and get it today. Was there another job he could do to earn the full purchase price... more

Every family has a whiner, right? We are lucky enough to have two whiners, probably because we have 11 children. I guess that makes our family the equivalent of two families so we probably deserve two of them. The whiners fall to their knees in imagined pain with the slightest touch from a sibling or a bump from a toy flying through the air. The whiners scream in pain and push out huge crocodile tears that flow down their faces to drip off from their chins. The whiners rush to tell the tale of their injuries to the nearest parent barely able to choke out the words between sobs.... more

What does your family do when you are snowed in and can’t go anywhere? I am sure that the county has their plow and salt trucks out in force, but they haven’t made it out to the country roads yet. My mother lives within the city limits and they haven’t even plowed her street yet. Apparently, with all of the blowing and drifting going on, the county is having trouble keeping the main roads clear. This is only the second Sunday that I can remember our church canceling all services due to inclement weather. I didn’t even attempt to go anywhere today in my 15 passenger van,... more