A reader asked me recently about enrolling her adopted children in sports. Another mentioned that her adopted child didn’t have the social skills to play a team sport. Rarely, in our 14 years of foster care, has a child come to us already active in any sport. Most of those children also lacked social skills. Our family, like Cindy’s over at the older child adoption blog, enjoys soccer. We also love floor hockey. Every child that has come through our doors has been enrolled in soccer, hockey, or both.

On the soccer field... more

Adopting two or more related children is the definition of adopting a sibling group. It is possible to adopt sibling groups privately by an arrangement with the birth family or internationally. However, the following information refers only to adopting children who are state and court wards. These children have become available for adoption because the rights of their parents have been terminated. The juvenile division of the probate court has terminated the rights of the parents and committed the children to the state (state wards) or placed the children under the care and supervision... more

I don’t always remember to tell my children about the origins of each holiday. Since we homeschool, it is up to me, the teacher to explain the significance and history of each holiday. The worldviews held by my children were developed and influenced through exposure to our family, our church, our sports teams, and various foster children. Public schools usually have themes for holidays including stories, projects, and assignments. I guess I need to put a little more effort into that area of homeschooling. Perhaps I could do a monthly bulletin board or something. I realized this... more

This morning, my eight-year-old son, Ty, met me coming from the shower with a hot cup of perfectly prepared coffee. He had a dollar bill taped to the outside of the cup. He handed it to me with pride in his voice and said, “Happy birthday, Mom.” He watches me make my coffee sometimes, and he got it just right, a splash of milk, and a tablespoon of French vanilla creamer. He is one of those really neat kids, who always knows the right thing to say and do. If any of us are looking for a lost article, we need only to ask Ty. He always knows where things are. This is quite an accomplishment... more

You know, I don’t remember sticking my nose into my parent’s business when I was a young girl. I think it was more like, the less I know about their business, the less they will know about mine. However, it seems like every girl over six, who has lived in our home as adopted or foster daughters, over the past 14 years, has made it her business to know my business. Two of my daughters, who are the oldest girls currently living at home, are no exception. At 14 and 10, they could make Sherlock Holmes seem like an amateur. I hate to be gender specific here, but none of the boys we... more

Are you ever embarrassed by things that your children say in public? I know that I used to be. I don’t think that I embarrass very easily anymore though, not after 25 years of parenting, with 14 of those years with special needs children. One of my husband’s friends came over one evening to help him process a deer. They were working in the kitchen and chatting. I took the four year old into the bathroom to have her brush her teeth and get ready for bed. The bathroom we were using opens into the kitchen. In quite a loud voice she announced, “Aunt Julie, you have a really big butt.... more

I remember my parents talking about toddlers entering the curtain climber stage and then the terrible twos. It does present a funny word picture if you think about your toddler hanging from the curtains like a feisty kitten. My daughter is almost 18 months old and based on her recent feats; I would say that she has officially entered the curtain climber stage. In the last week, I have had to grab her off the top of one of our computer desk, about 10 times. In our playroom, also known as our library and computer room, we have two large desks. Each desk has a computer and... more

I attended a very interesting permanency planning hearing today and learned a little about having tribal law take precedence. When children are in foster care, the State Department must make reasonable effort to reunite the children with their parents. Making reasonable effort means offering assistance in a passive manner. For example, the worker offered the parents bus passes, the worker made a referral for counseling, the worker suggested the parents put in applications at subsidized housing.

If the parents do not follow up on the workers recommendations, then after... more

For the last year, our four-year-old has been trying to understand her baby brother’s death. It has actually been two years, this week, since his unexpected death. Unfortunately, her parents were unable to seek counseling during that first traumatic year. Their own grief and guilt prevented them from reaching out to others, for themselves, or for their daughter. Ali was two then, almost three. Her immature questions were met with tears of grief and pain.

I know, because I was there. They called me in the middle of the night and I rushed to hold them in... more

All of Nancy’s talk about the healing properties of her rocking chair over at the RAD blog convinced me that I needed a better, bigger, new rocking chair. That is the only item I had on my Christmas list. Oh sure, I have a rocking chair. It is solid wood and quite adequate for rocking babies or toddlers. It was getting a little uncomfortable for rocking our four year old who weighs 45 pounds though. Super Dad took me to the furniture store several days before Christmas to look at rocking chairs after I told him why I needed... more