I am continuously surprised by the similarities in children with fetal alcohol effect. The similarities are sometimes odd issues, that wouldn’t seem to have anything to do with fetal alcohol effect. That is one of the reasons I am so glad to have this opportunity to exchange information with so many adoptive parents of special needs children. It really helps us to accept our children’s behavior by realizing that it is due to brain damage and not their choice. I was recently sharing information with an adoptive mom about my teenage daughter with fetal alcohol effect who likes... more

I actually like having pets and we have a house cat. Unfortunately, here I am once again blogging against them. I previously blogged about cat dander causing asthma attacks. However, over the years of providing foster care, I have found that traumatized children usually bond with animals rather quickly. I have seen children show affection to family pets who are not able to show affection to another person. Now in the news, a house cat was discovered to... more

Imagine living with eight children, five of whom have had rotavirus for the past two weeks. While Super Dad and I tried to stay healthy, it was just a matter of time until the rotavirus spread to us. It is hard to avoid contracting a virus from sick toddlers who don’t cover their mouths when they cough, have chronic diarrhea, and sleep in your bed when they feel sick. It has been over two weeks since SD and I have been able to sleep all night. Little children always seem to run the highest fevers in the middle of the night. Worried parents stay awake after giving them... more

A grandmother wants to parent her nine-year-old granddaughter, but at the same time, wants her granddaughter to have a mother and father. The grandmother worries about being too old to parent the child herself. Perhaps she will not live long enough to see her granddaughter graduate and then another family would have to be found anyway. In the end, grandmother chooses to let another family adopt her granddaughter with hopes of continuing her relationship as the grandmother. The adoptive family chooses to cut off contact with the grandmother after the adoption. The grandmother... more

A team at Durham University developed a new tool to test more than 3,000 students of various ages. They found that a poor working memory seriously impairs a student’s ability to learn and about 300 of those students tested suffered from a poor working memory. We know that children with fetal alcohol effect have poor working memories. The study indicates that poor working memory may also be genetic. Unfortunately, this question isn't addressed on most birthmother... more

British researchers are saying that fifty percent of a person’s sense of well-being comes from inherited personality traits. If you adopted a child with just the right genetic mix then that child’s happiness could almost be assured. Researchers found that they needed to understand personality in order to understand happiness. The personality genes, those that allow a person to be extroverted, emotionally stable, and conscientious are responsible for half of a person’s long-term happiness. Researchers further elaborated that being outgoing, calm, and reliable provide an affective... more

If you have adopted a large sibling group, or several children close in age, playing tooth fairy can get expensive. Sometimes we adoptive parents go a little overboard on tooth fairy payments because we are so excited to have the opportunity. At our house, the first lost baby tooth placed under a pillow has been known to rake in a five-dollar bill from the tooth fairy. Our dental hygienist, at a recent appointment, told me that she had just paid out five dollars to her adopted daughter for the first baby tooth lost as well. A recent poll... more

Because I am currently parenting four teenagers this article on binge eating caught my eye. So far, only our older adopted and foster daughters have struggled with binge eating. Like many adoptive parents, we are willing to try anything at least once to help our traumatized children adjust to a normal life. This is an internet program that requires just a half an hour on line each week for 16 weeks. Because teenagers usually enjoy being on the internet anyway, it shouldn’t be too difficult to talk your teenager into taking a look at this program. California researchers... more

As a parent, I often wonder if I should let my younger children ride with their older teenage siblings. This is sometimes difficult to prevent because we currently have four teenagers in our home. Teenagers always want to be on the go, they are frequently going to the same location, and it seems silly to drive two vehicles to the same location. Our 15-year-old son just finished driver’s training last week so this article on teen death in auto crashes caught my eye. Especially since... more

I still struggle with wanting to be the perfect mother for my older adopted children. I know they have witnessed so many failures over the years by their loved ones. They have been let down and disappointed to the point of expecting it. That is why I have tried to be a super mom over the years. The mom who never changes her mind, misses an appointment, or reneges on anything. It is a tough calling; obviously none of us are able in our own power to pull off such perfection. I have gotten a little better over the years because our children also need to know that it is ok to fail.... more