You have decided to move ahead with your adoption plans to bring a sibling group into your family. Most of the children in the sibling group have appropriate names, but for one reason or another, one of them will require a name change at the time of the adoption. How will the other children react to that name change?

There are several reasons you might need or want to change the name of one of your children when you complete the adoption process. Some families see choosing a child’s name as a right of passage (sort of) into... more

With all of our teenagers off to summer camps and mission’s trips, Dani, our nine year old has been suddenly thrust into the position of big sister. That esteemed position of the eldest child, the sister whom all the little children look up to as a role model, a leader, and a comforter.

Apparently, she is taking her new role quite seriously. She is doing extra jobs around the house, without being asked to do them. She is doing the jobs that belonged to the teenagers who are currently at camp, and doing them correctly.

She... more

My friend has two adopted daughters at home that happen also to be birth siblings. The girls don’t look much alike but both are quite striking and less than two years apart in age. They suffered many years of chaos before coming into foster care a few years ago. Ever since being placed in my friend’s home they have lived a switching game, and it continues now that they are adopted.

They seem to take turns being the “good” child and the “bad” child. Both are never good at the same time, nor are they both bad at the same... more

My oldest daughter hates it when I write about her, she’s a private person and wants to put the past behind her. Therefore, I apologize “J,” but I feel compelled to write about our concerns for your little sister, she is my daughter, too. Little sister “R” is 18, almost 19, and is making some really bad choices. It has to do with that teenage brain thing; you know they don’t use the same part of their brain as an adult.

“R’s” first bad choice was moving out the month of her eighteenth birthday. She did move in with her older sister, “J”... more

Many people who are involved in adoption feel that the pecking order should never be changed by bringing in an older child or children. Our family has violated this status quo many times over the past 14 years of our adoption journey. Since we are licensed foster parents, we have frequently been asked to foster teenagers, which temporarily disrupted the pecking order.

The first children we adopted were two girls. The oldest girl, a 15 year old, was 22 days older than our oldest child was. The second girl was 9, and nearly... more

Competition is a part of life. It is in the work place, in school, in sports, and even in our extra curricular activities. If you happened to have been raised with at least one sibling, then you started your competition training early, and right at home.

Currently we have eight children at home so competition is alive and well at our house. We also have three adult children who have moved out on their own. Should I say four? (Actually, I need some advice on this one. When people ask how many children we have should we... more

If you have adopted a child from the foster care system, then chances are your child has one or more siblings, somewhere. Sometimes you know where those siblings are, and then you can help to foster a sibling relationship. Younger siblings often emulate older siblings, and that part of the sibling relationship seems to happen even when they live in different families.

Older siblings can be a source of encouragement and unconditional love for your child. Unfortunately, once they get to those later teen years,... more

You are planning a second adopted child, and your first adoption is completely open. What if your second adoption isn’t completely open? How will your second adopted child feel when he is old enough to understand that his big sister sees her birth mother every month and he doesn’t? My husband and I have seven adopted children and four of them have ongoing relationships with their birth families.

When Buck was around six, he began to understand what adoption meant. That is when he really noticed or understood that his sisters were visiting their birth family members. That is what led to him asking why he couldn’t see his birth mother.

First, we contacted his birthmother’s... more

While some of the children were introducing themselves to a visitor, our seven year old blurted out, that’s my brother, and we came from the same mom. Now that he is old enough to understand that, not only are they brothers by adoption, but they are also brothers by birth, he takes great pride in the knowledge. He definitely looks up to his big brother and follows him everywhere.

Another cute phrase he sometimes uses when he wants a drink or a bite is we’re brothers so we can share, because brothers don’t have germs.... more

Over at the Christian Adoption blog, we’ve been talking about the love of spiritual family; the love of physical family; and the love of biological family. As we are in the process of adopting a sibling set, I’d like to speak... more