Families who adopt infants sometimes believe that with their love and care their child will develop normally, without any special needs. However, if there are older siblings, it is wise to consider their diagnoses if they have them. Many conditions are hereditary in nature. While a loving and stimulating environment will give a child the best possible future outcome, it doesn’t erase genetic predisposition.

I have a friend who adopted two brothers, 11 months apart in age. The boys were placed in her home at birth, through the foster care system. She had met four of... more

I was so proud of my son on Friday night. What teen boy who will be turning 18 next month would want to take his three younger brothers to a movie? I couldn’t believe that he offered to do it. His younger brothers were ecstatic about going with him, even though they had already seen the Transformers movie. They were just happy to be spending an evening with their big brother whom they idolize.

They loaded up in his car and off they went. I waited up long enough to be sure that they were home. They had a great time, enjoyed the popcorn and the movie, so I headed off to bed.

About... more

Do your younger children seem to pick up the behaviors and attitudes of their older brothers and sisters? Do they ever pick up the positive attributes? Maybe I’m just having a difficult week, but it seems to me that my younger children only acquire the negative attributes of their older siblings. They seem to pick up those little behaviors or quirks that annoy you and make you nuts.

One of my adult daughters always chewed her nails so short that they bled and then she would begin chewing on the sides of her fingers. Apparently, Lyn thought that was a really neat thing... more

Why does sibling bonding time among brothers seem to usually involve wrestling on the furniture, the floor, or the ground. Inevitably, one ends up teary and in need of an ice pack. Something of mine usually gets broken or clothing is ripped and I get to sew it or replace it. One ends up tattling on the other, probably because he didn’t win. Just when you think all is quiet, the boys are at it again.

The next day they are perfectly happy to go ride bikes together, play video games, or go fishing together as if they never fought. They don’t seem to hold a grudge against... more

You’ve adopted a sibling group and now one of the children is old enough to drive. Do you allow your child to get a driver’s license as soon as legally possible? Do you let the older sibling transport the younger children? What type of problems might arise from the driving privilege?

We definitely encountered some unforeseen difficulties when we allowed our daughter to get her license. She took up smoking for a while, which she could easily do away from home in her car. She once threatened her younger sister with severe bodily damage if she exposed her secret.

We... more

What if you are fostering a sibling group and the time has come to move towards adoption, but not for the whole sibling group? There are various reasons this might happen. One of the siblings may be acting out in such a way that the agency feels that child isn’t ready to be adopted, but the other siblings are ready. The siblings may not have the same two birth parents, and one hasn’t had parental rights terminated yet. One of the siblings may be eligible for services and the other not.

Unfortunately, these circumstances usually arise with older children who are very aware... more

It has been over three years since they left our home, two children, whom we love very much. They were part of our family for 18 months. We made the mistake of taking “ownership” of them after the rights of their parents were terminated by the state. At the time of the TPR, no other families were interested in adopting them that we knew of, except us. They had come to live with us at two months of age and 2 years of age.

There was another family, living three hours away in another state that had adopted the three older siblings. They didn’t know that the TPR... more

“Mom, why did we have to adopt my brother?” Buck asked exasperatedly after Ty, his younger brother, had followed him around all day. “Because you are such a wonderful son we figured your brother would be too, and we wanted you to be raised together,” I answered.

“Are you sure we are really brothers? You know the hospital or the state could have made a mistake,” he queried.

“There was no mistake Buck, you definitely both have the same mother. Both of you were placed with us straight from the hospital and I have the original birth certificates.”... more

Our oldest adopted daughter is getting married in a couple of weeks. She has always been a sentimental person and has always coveted her family’s fellowship. The first few years she lived with us she really only coveted her birth family’s time, but now that she is older, her adopted family’s time as well. It isn’t surprising that she asked both of her birth sisters to be in her wedding, as well as her sister-in-law to be. We were a little surprised when she asked her 17-year-old brother to stand up at the wedding with the... more

My friends adopted a sibling group of five children many years ago. I have a special connection with this adoptive family because we parented two of their children. You see the siblings were split into two foster homes the first two times they came into foster care. These children really look like siblings probably because each has the same two birth parents, uncommon in foster care from my experience. Therefore, one might assume that their needs and goals might be similar. However, each child’s needs are very different.

One... more