On Sunday afternoon, we attended the annual church harvest party. It was another one of those great bonding opportunities where adopted siblings could make memories with their new family. Sometimes children who are newly adopted to your family feel left out when a sibling is reminiscing with “remember when,” phrases. That is one of the reasons I love these fun outings with our church family. It creates some “remember when” scenarios for all of the children.

When we arrived, some children were already going on hayrides. They were sitting on stacks of straw, loaded on a wagon,... more

Little sister turned 15 months old this week and she has a lot to say. She has been watching and listening to her older siblings and her mom for over a year now. Sometimes you can tell whom she is copying by her tone or the way she says a word or phrase. Previously, I remember my toddlers always wanting to talk on the phone because I did that a lot. Little sister always wants to type on my computer. I wonder why…

I couldn’t help but laugh the other day when our four year old was throwing one of her screaming, kicking, snot blowing episodes. Little sister... more

Yet another one of my babies is turning 18. Today is Shea’s birthday, “Happy birthday, Shea!” So far, all of our children have moved out during the month of their eighteenth birthday. Shea has been talking about moving out for a few months. I suppose I should be happy that we have managed to equip our children for independent living by the time they turn 18, but I’m not. I am not ready for him to go, and neither are his little brothers.

Oh sure, he has his moments. Like when he decides to beat one of his brothers to a pulp. When I open up his bedroom door and the floor is... more

Have you ever felt pressured to celebrate a holiday? What happens when you adopt older children who have already celebrated holidays? Obviously, they are already aware that other families celebrate on that day. When the holiday is nearing, the children new to your family may begin to get excited in anticipation. That is when you burst their bubble and tell them that, “Our family doesn’t celebrate that holiday.” Then you try to explain why your family doesn’t celebrate that holiday. Will your newly adopted children be angry, or feel resentment towards you?

If... more

Do you want to get rid of some old junk, but you don’t want the hassle of putting together a garage sale? Do you want to teach your adopted children entrepreneurship, have fun in the process, do some bonding, and make money? Some of the older adopted children arrive at your home with a fatalistic attitude about life. One of our daughters frequently admitted that if she tried something, it would turn out bad, so why try. Therefore, you need to do something easy to try to change that attitude and create some enthusiasm through success.

It started this summer when for the first time in 10 years we decided to have a garage sale. That in itself was quite a bonding experience between the... more

We all had a fun cultural experience this weekend. Our tribal representative suggested that we go to a Native American powwow that was in a neighboring town. It has been about 10 years since our family attended a powwow so some of my adopted children had never been to one.

The children were quite excited by the sites and the sounds. We watched the native dancers move to the beating of the drums dressed in feathers, bright colors, and fine leathers. Apparently, the beating of the drums made Amigrace feel like dancing too, but nobody seemed to mind.

We... more

When our first sibling group came to live with us, 11 years ago, we wondered how much influence we could really have, on who a teenager would become as an adult. After all, the majority of teenagers’ childhood is over. Those precious, formative years that we all know are so important are long gone. The children’s first parents, who had agendas much different from ours, influenced those formative years.

Two years after being placed in our home, the sisters became available for adoption. They were already part of our family by then so it seemed natural to adopt them. However,... more

Whether you ride bikes with your children as a family activity, or they ride together without you, it is great fun and exercise. I remember riding all over the neighborhood with my siblings when I was growing up. Now, my children enjoy doing the same thing. We live out in the country so the nearest store or gas station is about five miles away. Once the children reach the age of 10, I will let them ride their bikes that far if they wear their helmets and take along a sibling.

It seems to be a great bonding experience for them and a way for them to get to know their... more

If you have adopted an older sibling group, you may need to encourage each child to seek their own friends and hobbies. That might not be as easy as might expect it to be. If the siblings had to depend on each other in their previous home for comfort, food, and protection it may be difficult for you to establish yourself as the parent. The children will naturally try to continue their established roles in your home. The older children, who provided the parenting roles, may not appreciate having their roles usurped.

It can also be difficult to get the younger children... more

Taking on a sibling group can be quite stressful. While you may feel that it is important for the children to have you at home to bond with, it is just as important for you to be in the right frame of mind. Therefore, you need to make time for yourself and for your significant other, if you have one, after you have adopted a sibling group. You may not realize the amount of stress you are carrying around after doubling the size of your family until you take a break.

Sometimes, when I’m dealing with a child related crisis at home, I feel like I must... more