I have been thinking about creating a morning ritual for starting the day off right with my adopted children for quite a while now, but just haven’t done it. With older adopted special needs children you never quite know how they are going to act each day. Because we homeschool it is particularly important to me what their attitudes are like each day. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a special morning routine that sort of set things off on the right foot every morning? I knew a family that had adopted six children. Every morning she sat out on the porch with them talking quietly and... more

Perhaps you would like to share your opinion on this topic. Call it one of my pet peeves, tell me I am wrong if you want, or jump on my bandwagon. When I took the girls in for their six month dental cleaning, I was informed by the dentist that I needed to make separate appointments for fillings. Of course, the hygienist was trying to lighten the impact by telling me what beautiful teeth the girls have. They should, they brush and floss at least twice a day, sometimes with my help. Why did my adopted children need fillings in their beautiful teeth? Because they were sneaking chocolate... more

When I first retired from full time employment as a cost accountant, I wanted my household to be organized and efficient. We had accepted an infant as a foster care placement giving us four young boys at home at the time. I had also been licensed to provide daycare to unrelated children before retiring and was watching two toddlers full time. I was used to getting up at 5:30 every morning and continued to do so, for a few years. Everything I did, I did in a hurry including running up and down stairs.

There wasn’t an emergency, I was just trying to accomplish as much... more

If your children are anything like mine they probably want to spend every spare minute playing video games. My children think a day off from school, like a holiday, means video game free time from sun up until sun down. As parents, we sometimes have to curtail video game time to allow our children to participate in other activities as well. If you have adopted siblings that suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, like we have, then you know how difficult it can be to get them to transition to another activity. I also find it interesting how my children with attention deficit... more

There was a lot of excitement this morning when the children awoke. The excitement was spreading through the house for several reasons. The obvious reason was that it was Thanksgiving morning. Thoughts of turkey and desserts danced through their heads. There was no school today and they were thrilled about that. They get so excited about just lying around, watching cartoons, and playing video games. When they looked out the windows this morning they found the first snow of the season laying on the grass. Brilliant white crystals shimmered in the morning sunlight.

Usually,... more

Our family participated in National adoption Day yesterday. We adopted our 10-year-old daughter who has lived with us for the past three years, minus 12 days. Our other six adoptions were finalized in individual, private, adoption court hearings. Many adoptions are now being finalized without the family attending an actual court hearing. The judge signs the order and the family receives the paperwork in the mail a few days later.

If you had a choice which method would you prefer? Would your child prefer that same method, or a different one? I thought... more

Today is a joyous occasion for each family finalizing an adoption. It has been a long and emotional process to get to this point. Many of us feel a sense of relief upon dismounting the emotional rollercoaster of foster care adoption. Please let us remember that our children may also experience some sadness about being adopted today. Today’s adoption forever closes the door to their dream of returning home to live with birth family. While our children may not be able to express that dream verbally, if they have ever lived with their birth family, it is in their hearts.

The... more

Be realistic about what you can do for the holidays when you are parenting children new to your home and family. Stress can lead to depression and can ruin your holidays and hurt your health. Your children may not be ready for big holiday parties that include many extended family members. You probably have the desire to make the first holidays together perfect for your new sibling group. You may want to make up for everything they have missed. What they have missed, is having a family, now that they have that, they have the best gift of all.

Some traumatized children can’t... more

If you have adopted children who have suffered trauma than you already know, that they tend to respond much better to rewards than consequences. Constantly dangling carrots out in front of adopted children who have suffered trauma can be quite effective in modifying their behavior. For children who have already lost everything, some more than once, taking away privileges or snacks or possessions rarely has the desired effects.

I guess I had gotten a little lazy and had returned to negative consequences to modify behavior. It does take a little effort and... more

William Tell, also known as my son Lane, went bow hunting on Wednesday. Apparently, his father had borrowed his quiver earlier during this bow hunting season and had not returned it. Because he didn’t have a quiver to hold his extra arrows, he didn’t take any with him. Now there is sound ADHD thinking for you. Two bucks approached his tree and stopped within shooting distance. One was a six point and the other buck only had one antler with four tines, perhaps the result of a duel.

Lane can barely move in his tree stand because his father has bundled... more