You have adopted a sibling group and just doubled the size of your family over night. The children you have just adopted range in age from toddler to teenager. Each child has special issues that are being addressed through therapy, school, and family time. Your schedule has changed from having periodic free time to frantic dashing from one appointment to another.

Your friends begin to slip away, one by one, because you no longer have time for them. Your new network includes doctors, therapist, and support group members. You trade in your cute little sports car for a fifteen-passenger window van. Strangers stare at your family and then give you an “are you nuts” look. Some people ask you if you are familiar with birth control.

Because some of the children were already teenagers, a few years go by and they are grownup. They move out and begin living their own lives. They have a high school diploma, experiences, and opportunities that never would have existed had they stayed with their birth family.

You need to be careful not to enable an existence that would duplicate the situation the children were originally removed from. How do you decide when to loan money or give money to these adult children? Because you have so many children, can you continue to provide costly gifts for their birthdays and Christmases now that they are adults? Do you pay for cars and weddings?


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