www.AdoptionNetwork.com  
Adopting a Sibling Blog

09/26/07

When Should an Adoptive Parent Cut the Purse Strings?

Posted by : Julia Fuller in Adopting a Sibling Blog at 06:58 pm , 301 words, 183 views  
Categories: Parenting with Love and Logic

You have adopted a sibling group and just doubled the size of your family over night. The children you have just adopted range in age from toddler to teenager. Each child has special issues that are being addressed through therapy, school, and family time. Your schedule has changed from having periodic free time to frantic dashing from one appointment to another.

Your friends begin to slip away, one by one, because you no longer have time for them. Your new network includes doctors, therapist, and support group members. You trade in your cute little sports car for a fifteen-passenger window van. Strangers stare at your family and then give you an “are you nuts” look. Some people ask you if you are familiar with birth control.

Because some of the children were already teenagers, a few years go by and they are grownup. They move out and begin living their own lives. They have a high school diploma, experiences, and opportunities that never would have existed had they stayed with their birth family.

SPONSOR

You need to be careful not to enable an existence that would duplicate the situation the children were originally removed from. How do you decide when to loan money or give money to these adult children? Because you have so many children, can you continue to provide costly gifts for their birthdays and Christmases now that they are adults? Do you pay for cars and weddings?


For information/instructions on how to subscribe FREE to your favorite AdoptionBlogs, please visit this link. your favorite AdoptionBlogs

How to Set Up Your Special Need’s Trust Fund
When an Adopted Older Child Leaves Home Angry
It’s True! Adopting Special Needs Children Can Make You Nuts
Should Siblings Available for Adoption be Placed with Their Already Adopted Siblings?

photo credit

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: lmg1567 [Member] Email
Those are great questions!! I'm going thru something with my 21 yo bio-son right now and am having to say NO an awful lot lately (it's not deterring him from asking me for something else the next week so he must be extremely confident of my LOVE). I have 9 kids still at home - he's the first and only to have moved out so far, and it's very hard to say no, but absolutely necessary since he has a home here to live in if he ever needs one, but we can't afford to pay for everyone's way. With my adopted kids, I can see this becoming a much harder issue, if only because of their emotional, social and developmental delays which will cause them much hardship when they're finally on their own. I'd like to hear how others do this!
PermalinkPermalink 09/26/07 @ 19:14
Comment from: condo-mom [Member] Email
Having read Anne Ford's book "On Their Own" recently, I'm asking these same sorts of questions. Our kids are younger (middle school) but one can already see various tendencies toward "getting a life" or lying there inert, waiting to receive from others. Hoping to learn from others' experience !! -- Rachel
PermalinkPermalink 09/27/07 @ 06:42
Comment from: Julia Fuller [Member] Email · http://special-needs.adoptionblogs.com/
Lisa, I'm asking for similar reasons. We still have 8 children at home, we have 3 adult children on their own. So far only 1 has children. So we currently have 2 grandchildren. What about when all 11 have children?
PermalinkPermalink 09/27/07 @ 08:16
Leave a Comment: You need to login to leave comments.:

Login | Register

Login To AdoptionBlogs.com

Search

Sponsors

Adoption Network Adoption Network
Click here to
Adopt Now!
Adoption Network

Misc

Subscribe to Adopting a Sibling Blog

 Enter your email address:
 

 

Who's Online?

  • Guest Users: 98