I have talked about some of my children being very close in age a few times. I have even mentioned that sometimes people ask me if they are twins. This is partly because they have similar hair and eye color. We honestly didn’t plan to adopt children that all looked like birth siblings, it just turned out that way. We didn’t plan to create artificial twins either. The children were placed here in foster care and years later became available for adoption. When they originally were placed in our home, they actually had a return home plan. Obviously, they did not return home. After... more

Many years ago, a young woman called me for information about foster care. She told me that she did not intend to adopt because she already had three young children. However, she realized that there was a need for foster homes and she wanted to help. As I listened, she explained that she really only wanted to foster infants and toddlers. I asked her if she really thought that she could provide a home to a young child for 12 to 18 months and then walk away. I also explained that our agency had many homes on a waiting list who wanted an infant or a toddler to adopt. Our agency really... more

Today is a joyous occasion for each family finalizing an adoption. It has been a long and emotional process to get to this point. Many of us feel a sense of relief upon dismounting the emotional rollercoaster of foster care adoption. Please let us remember that our children may also experience some sadness about being adopted today. Today’s adoption forever closes the door to their dream of returning home to live with birth family. While our children may not be able to express that dream verbally, if they have ever lived with their birth family, it is in their hearts.

The... more

Whether you have just adopted a sibling group or intend to adopt siblings soon, you should be extremely cautious about having them share a bedroom. If you are considering having the siblings share a bedroom with each other or with one of the children already in your home, you might want to reconsider if you have enough bedrooms. If you must have them share a room, consider hiding baby monitors under or near the beds. If you allow your children to play in each other’s bedrooms then you should also consider hiding monitors in the bedrooms so you can hear what is going... more

This is a photo of Nicole and Caleb, taken on the day of Ben's birthday last month. She is my oldest, and although he isn't the youngest, he has been in our family for the least amount of time, having arrived home with us from China mid-January.

Although her siblings can make her crazy at times, I think her love for him is evident in her face. When we announced that we would be adopting Micheline back in 1998, she had a look of concern and asked if we would be raising young children... more

At the Christian school that I attend, the eighth graders in my class are taking a social skills class during the first period of the day. This class focuses on building solid foundations for learning and using proper social behavior. It also focuses on developing good moral character, manners and etiquette. One of the neat things about this class is the boys have to practice their manners at lunch by pushing in the seats of the girls in my class. We are also learning proper table manners, social manners and verbal manners.

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I found some letters that were written by Korean birthmothers and as the sister of an adopted sister from China I often think about what Gracie’s birthmother may have wanted to say to her in a letter. This question will always be in my mind but I hope the letter would have been one filled with love, sadness and hopes for a better life then what could have been given to her in China.

I have great appreciation for Gracie’s birthmother for bringing... more

My little sister Gracie and I are eleven years apart. She is two and a half and I am fourteen. Some of my friends with adoptive siblings do not have that big of an age difference. My point? How do you connect with your sibling when there is a big age difference? Maybe there is a small age difference between you and your sibling and you are looking for ways to connect with them? I have found that doing some things that Gracie enjoys doing are actually really fun.

For the girls I have found that having a tea party is a great... more

A few weeks ago, my two little cousins came over to spend the night with Gracie and me to celebrate the Chinese New Year together. My mother found this poem of an anonymous writer that describes a toddler’s perspective. I could not help but to be reminded of my little cousins and Gracie when I read this poem for the first time. I am sure if you are the older sibling to a toddler brother or sister then you should be able to identify with this.

Toddler Rules of Property If I like it, it... more

While I was away on a youth trip to Schroon Lake, New York for three days Gracie missed me. My mom said she looked at my picture and asked “Where Sissy”? Mom said Gracie would call out “Sissy, Sissy”? and my mom would tell Gracie that I was away and that I was going to be back home in two days or tomorrow or whatever time frame was left on me returning. The thing I thought was most special is she wanted to sleep in my room each night I was away to help her feel like she was close to me even when I was hundreds of miles away from her.

Another... more