One of my friends was telling me the other day about her son’s girlfriend. She goes to college, plays basketball, works, attends church regularly, and she is berating him for not attending church. Wow, good for him she sounds wonderful, I told her. But, she is black, she added. She still sounds perfect to me. Would you prefer him to date a white, unemployed, high school dropout? You should be thrilled that he found a girl with goals and morals. She agreed with me, what else could she do.

My youngest daughter is biracial. She has dark skin, dark eyes, and dark... more

I believe that our 15-year-old son may be going into hibernation or something very close to it. We have to call him about 50 times to wake him up in the morning, and when we do succeed, he just nods off again. Quite often, I will check on him to see if he is doing his schoolwork. I will see him typing on his computer and being satisfied that he is working, I will walk away. Then, 15 minutes later when I look in on him, he will be sleeping right on his keyboard. Even his brothers, who also like to sleep, are getting disgusted with him. I decided to do a little research and found... more

Whew, am I glad that the children behaved at dinner last night. There was a mother at the restaurant sitting at a table across from us with a little boy. Just the two of them were eating dinner together. I looked over at them several times because Super Dad thought he recognized the boy from one of our children’s previous hockey or soccer teams. Ty plays hockey twice a year, one organization in October and November, and city in January and February. I did not recognize the boy, but Super Dad was quite sure so I kept looking. Tonight, was Ty’s first practice for... more

Super Dad and I received a gift certificate for $60.00 at Christmas to a local family type restaurant. This restaurant is advertised as family friendly, casual, and affordable. We thought it would be enough to take the whole family out to eat on a ¨kids eat free¨ day. We went today, because kids eat free there on Tuesdays and we had both worked all day. It was crowded when we arrived and several families were waiting to be seated. We were told that we would need to wait about 20 minutes for a table.

When we were seated, our server greeted us and took our drink... more

Does your adopted child hoard food? Do you find food in your child’s bed, under the bed, or in the child’s dresser drawers? When you do find the food is it barely recognizable because it has rotted or been flattened? Perhaps you located the food by the odor permeating the air or the trail of ants leading to it. Hoarding food is a common behavior in children who have been deprived of adequate sustenance early in life. What can we, as their adoptive parents, do to help these children feel safe and possibly overcome this behavior?

One reader, livsmommy, made... more

“It must be terrible living by an adoptive family with so many children. There must be so much noise with all of those children playing, arguing, and fighting. Have they vandalized much of your property?” My retired neighbor shared these comments with me that one of her friends had made. She also shared the response that she gave her friend. “No, it isn’t terrible living by an adoptive family because we hardly hear the children. One or two of the children will occasionally come over to visit with me and I enjoy their company.”

Well that was nice of her to share that with... more

Take a good look around you now that you have started a new year. Are all of your friends somehow affected by adoption? Do you have any of your pre-adoption friends left? You know, the friends you had before you became obsessed with any part of the adoption triad. Perhaps, like me, you drove them away with your constant adoption chatter. Perhaps they felt like they no longer had anything in common to talk about with you or me.

The last time Super Dad and I went out with friends who had no connection with the adoption world I struggled for topics. I didn’t want to bore them... more

I try not to think about our nearly five-year-old daughter having to move. The tears and the heartbreak will be real for her and our family. I was reminded about our own impending tragedy today when I read a blog about a Child waiting for a decision by Kelly over at the Foster Adoption blog. Her blog is about a boy who has dwarfism and is available for adoption. The system is trying to figure out who should adopt him. Should it be the foster family where he has lived for the past two... more

I took the eight children that still live at home to the movie theater tonight to see The Water Horse movie. It kept their attention riveted to the screen even though there wasn’t any blood, guts, sex, nor did I hear any swearing. In fact, I only had to leave my seat twice, each time to take a different child to the bathroom. The rest of the children never left their seats and they were quiet even the one year old. It is truly a kid friendly movie.

The movie is based on the stories of the Loch Ness Monster. While the scenario is imaginary, it is not a cartoon or... more

I know it is inevitable that older adopted children will return to their birth family, but it is painful for the adoptive family to watch, and it does not make any sense from a logical standpoint. My now adult children have been flocking to their birth families’ houses on holidays and birthdays since they turned 18. Even though we adopted them through the foster care system, we maintained contact with the birth family members because of their ages at the time, nine and 15. Only one aunt sent cards and notes every single year for Christmas and birthdays so... more