A friend called me yesterday nearly hysterical. When she dropped the girls off at school she overheard the 11 year old telling the nine year old not to worry, that she would kill her when she got home. When my friend got back home, she decided to search the bedroom of the 11 year old. That is when my friend really got upset. You see, she found a note, written by the 11 year old, to her therapist apologizing for killing her little sister.

My friend had already been in touch with her daughter’s therapist, explained the note, and faxed a copy to her. The therapist had agreed... more

The unwritten pact among brothers and sisters, never tell who did it, no matter what. We would rather do extra chores around the house, side by side all week long, be grounded from video games, and not have bedtime treat, then to confess, who did it.

They certainly are not anything like I was as a child. I hate to confess to all of you that I was a brat. If one of my sisters had caused me to do extra chores because she didn’t want to confess her guilt, I probably would have beaten the snot out of her. I am thinking that I would have pummeled her until she confessed... more

At a traditional wedding ceremony, the bride throws the bouquet and the girl who catches it is the next to be married, or so the story goes. When our oldest daughter married a couple of weeks ago, the single women lined up for a chance to catch the bouquet and a dream of being married next. Of course, all of her sisters, except Amigrace because she is only one, lined up as well. Who should jump out to clutch the bouquet from the air? Our Lyn, who will turn 14 in a couple of weeks, that’s who.

I am sure that our daughter, the bride, would not have aimed the bouquet... more

You know the old saying, “blood is thicker than water?” You adopt an older sibling group, already in their teens. You parent them as best you can considering their ages, unique individual issues, and ongoing connection to their birth family. However, in just a few short years they are adults, they move out of your home, and begin blaming you for everything. They turn against your family, and everything your family stands for.

They come into your house and begin making accusations. They belittle your parenting skills and the choices you made for them as their parent.... more

You have adopted a sibling group and just doubled the size of your family over night. The children you have just adopted range in age from toddler to teenager. Each child has special issues that are being addressed through therapy, school, and family time. Your schedule has changed from having periodic free time to frantic dashing from one appointment to another.

Your friends begin to slip away, one by one, because you no longer have time for them. Your new network includes doctors, therapist, and support group members. You trade in your cute little sports car for a fifteen-passenger... more

Our oldest daughter, who is also our oldest child by 22 days, has gotten married. She is the first of our eleven children to marry. She was very gracious in including not only her birth sisters in her wedding, but nearly all of her siblings by adoption as well.

She talked about just going to the justice of the peace, but I talked her into having a church wedding. She began attending our church when she came to live in our home as a foster child at the age of 13. The church has remained a part of her life ever since and I am sure that the memories of a church wedding are much... more

Sure, your children enjoy playing together, it is fun, and they learn a lot about each other. However, when they work together they learn each other’s strengths and limitations. They learn to respect each other’s abilities and can take pride in their own accomplishments as well as their brother’s accomplishments.

If your children aren’t getting along, maybe they aren’t even speaking to each other, putting them to work on a project may solve the problem. Either a project that requires teamwork and communication to get it done quickly will solve the problem or they will be... more

If you are part of a large family, one thing is for sure, you can’t get away with sneaking, lying, stealing, or anything else. Whatever a child in a large family does, there always seems to be brothers or sisters nearby to witness the act. I frequently wonder why some of my children continue to try after 100 attempts or more have been busted. One child in our home sometimes commits acts right in the plain sight of her brothers and sisters. Does she think that this time they might not tell, even though they have been tattling on her for years?

When our first... more

I read an article in an adoptive newsletter once that said, “You might be a foster or adoptive parent if you have three beautiful daughters and they are all named Jessica.” It really does get confusing when you blend families by adoption and you end up with siblings who have the same or very similar names. Marie over at the Christian Adoption blogs was just talking about this dilemma in her own blended family.

When we adopted our first sibling group, two daughters, we tried to convince them to change their names, just a little. Our oldest daughter happened to have the same name as a cousin who was the... more

I was talking to one of my new friends met through adoption blogs last week about the “stair step” siblings that she adopted. The children are currently teenagers, but at the time of their placement in her home, they were newborn, 11 months and 27 months. Three children in diapers at the same time sounds crazy and it makes life a little crazy while you are living it.

While Super Dad and I haven’t had the pleasure of adopting a sibling group like that, we have fostered several. I was reminded of what it was like last night to parent “stair step” children. Our oldest... more