Do you remember when whatever your brothers or sisters were doing had to be more fun than what you were doing? Usually your childish imagination created a wonderful scenario, way out of proportion with reality, on which you were missing out. The old, “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence,” adage. My eight year old has accompanied me to work on several occasions so that I could help him with his schoolwork. He still requires assistance with directions and when I am working in the office, I usually have time to help him. It was not a reward or... more

Guess who turned out to be the most gullible? If you said me, then you guessed correctly. I mentioned in a previous post that the therapist suggested that I let my children choose not to earn credits and suffer the consequences of their choices. That is what I have done for the last few weeks. I have been having difficulty with getting my daughters to turn in their homework. I have posted notes strategically all over the house to remind them, and then I posted a credit sheet that allows them to earn money for turning in their homework as well as other work. I really could not understand... more

Three of my daughters are sitting at home with me tonight. The rest of the children went with Super Dad to the annual Christmas party held by our local Department of Human Services. The party is at a local pizza parlor that has many games for the children to play. The machines spit out tickets that the children exchange for candy, trinkets, or dollar-store toys. As you can imagine the children always have a lot of fun there. I really enjoy going every year as well. It gives me an opportunity to catch up with other foster parents that I don’t see very often. I also enjoy seeing all of... more

If you have adopted children, who were older than newborns at the time of the adoption, then your children have been seriously hurt by the actions or words of another. Why not make a point this holiday season to talk to your adopted children about forgiveness. Certainly, the wounds left behind by abuse, neglect, or abandonment can leave lasting feelings of anger, bitterness, and the desire to retaliate someday. Many times adopted children repress or deny their feelings of bitterness or anger. Perhaps discussing how you have been hurt, how it made you feel, and how you felt... more

Maybe it is because I homeschool my children, they feel they can share intimate thoughts with me. Maybe it is because I am mostly a stay at home mom and spend all day, every day with my children. Perhaps it is because I sometimes share information with them, especially the teenagers that they don’t think I should share. I don’t know the exact reason why my children share very personal information with me, but they do. I would have never had these conversations with my parents even when I was a teenager. My children would not have these conversations with Super Dad and they get embarrassed... more

Perhaps you would like to share your opinion on this topic. Call it one of my pet peeves, tell me I am wrong if you want, or jump on my bandwagon. When I took the girls in for their six month dental cleaning, I was informed by the dentist that I needed to make separate appointments for fillings. Of course, the hygienist was trying to lighten the impact by telling me what beautiful teeth the girls have. They should, they brush and floss at least twice a day, sometimes with my help. Why did my adopted children need fillings in their beautiful teeth? Because they were sneaking chocolate... more

There was a lot of excitement this morning when the children awoke. The excitement was spreading through the house for several reasons. The obvious reason was that it was Thanksgiving morning. Thoughts of turkey and desserts danced through their heads. There was no school today and they were thrilled about that. They get so excited about just lying around, watching cartoons, and playing video games. When they looked out the windows this morning they found the first snow of the season laying on the grass. Brilliant white crystals shimmered in the morning sunlight.

Usually,... more

Our family participated in National adoption Day yesterday. We adopted our 10-year-old daughter who has lived with us for the past three years, minus 12 days. Our other six adoptions were finalized in individual, private, adoption court hearings. Many adoptions are now being finalized without the family attending an actual court hearing. The judge signs the order and the family receives the paperwork in the mail a few days later.

If you had a choice which method would you prefer? Would your child prefer that same method, or a different one? I thought... more

If you have adopted children who have suffered trauma than you already know, that they tend to respond much better to rewards than consequences. Constantly dangling carrots out in front of adopted children who have suffered trauma can be quite effective in modifying their behavior. For children who have already lost everything, some more than once, taking away privileges or snacks or possessions rarely has the desired effects.

I guess I had gotten a little lazy and had returned to negative consequences to modify behavior. It does take a little effort and... more

William Tell, also known as my son Lane, went bow hunting on Wednesday. Apparently, his father had borrowed his quiver earlier during this bow hunting season and had not returned it. Because he didn’t have a quiver to hold his extra arrows, he didn’t take any with him. Now there is sound ADHD thinking for you. Two bucks approached his tree and stopped within shooting distance. One was a six point and the other buck only had one antler with four tines, perhaps the result of a duel.

Lane can barely move in his tree stand because his father has bundled... more