We send the children off to school in jackets because it is chilly in the morning when the get on the bus. Towards afternoon, the weather begins to warm up. The Children are likely to toss off their jackets into a pile on the ground. At the end of recess, they will probably retrieve them. If just one of the children who tossed a jacket into that pile happened to have head lice then the lice probably jumped onto all of the other jackets. This pile of cloth is the perfect playground for those little biting opportunists to spread. The children will probably slip... more

I am continuously surprised by the similarities in children with fetal alcohol effect. The similarities are sometimes odd issues, that wouldn’t seem to have anything to do with fetal alcohol effect. That is one of the reasons I am so glad to have this opportunity to exchange information with so many adoptive parents of special needs children. It really helps us to accept our children’s behavior by realizing that it is due to brain damage and not their choice. I was recently sharing information with an adoptive mom about my teenage daughter with fetal alcohol effect who likes... more

I have yet to meet an adoptive family with a child affected by fetal alcohol who has not had to deal with sneaking and lying. As the adoptive parents of these children, we often struggle with accepting the child’s inability to control sneaking or stealing, when it often appears to be premeditated. A common scenario that would seem premeditated involves an active effort on the fetal alcohol affected child’s part to search for hidden objects. Once the sought after objects are located, the child often conceals them, usually within the clothing that is being worn. Then the child takes the... more

You have adopted a sibling group. The siblings that are of the same gender share a bedroom. As you walk into the bedroom one morning, you are nearly overcome by the pungent odor of urine. Upon further investigation, you realize the odor is permeating from the carpet in front of the dressers. In fact, the carpet is wet with urine in quite a large area. The siblings that you adopted seem oblivious to the odor and to your investigation. You comment, to no one in particular, “There is pee all over the carpet over here and it makes the bedroom smell bad. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep... more

Guess who turned out to be the most gullible? If you said me, then you guessed correctly. I mentioned in a previous post that the therapist suggested that I let my children choose not to earn credits and suffer the consequences of their choices. That is what I have done for the last few weeks. I have been having difficulty with getting my daughters to turn in their homework. I have posted notes strategically all over the house to remind them, and then I posted a credit sheet that allows them to earn money for turning in their homework as well as other work. I really could not understand... more

Just in case you have been wondering, there are still nice people out there in the world. Tonight, I left the stove and my computer turned on because I was only going to be gone for about 20 minutes. Lyn takes her piano lessons on Wednesday night. Five of the children and I were running to pick her up. I popped through the Walgreens drive thru afterwards to pick up a couple of prescriptions and that is when I made the fatal mistake. I turned off the van. It wouldn’t start back up, it wouldn’t even turn over, it just clicked. The baby started crying; the two other youngest... more

I went horseback riding today, something I haven’t had time to do in several weeks. As I gazed at the beautiful fall colors and felt the cool breeze on my face it occurred to me that I hadn’t felt much joy lately. I have been guilty of focusing on the negatives for quite a while instead of the positives. The main reason I’ve obsessed on the negatives is probably because I haven’t made any time for me and what I enjoy doing. Instead, I have been worrying about an adoption, homeschooling five children, and working.

I’ve been really good about telling others,... more

The unwritten pact among brothers and sisters, never tell who did it, no matter what. We would rather do extra chores around the house, side by side all week long, be grounded from video games, and not have bedtime treat, then to confess, who did it.

They certainly are not anything like I was as a child. I hate to confess to all of you that I was a brat. If one of my sisters had caused me to do extra chores because she didn’t want to confess her guilt, I probably would have beaten the snot out of her. I am thinking that I would have pummeled her until she confessed... more

You know the old saying, “blood is thicker than water?” You adopt an older sibling group, already in their teens. You parent them as best you can considering their ages, unique individual issues, and ongoing connection to their birth family. However, in just a few short years they are adults, they move out of your home, and begin blaming you for everything. They turn against your family, and everything your family stands for.

They come into your house and begin making accusations. They belittle your parenting skills and the choices you made for them as their parent.... more