Recently I received a question from a reader about her soon to be adopted daughter’s inappropriate clothing choices. If you have parented older children from the foster care system or adopted from an orphanage then you have probably dealt with these issues as well. It may help you, to help your child, if you understand where these habits originated. We were a little surprised and disgusted when we realized what was happening at our house. Our first sibling group, a teenager, and her younger sister helped to train us when we were new foster and adoptive parents. The teenager would... more

You have adopted a sibling group. The siblings that are of the same gender share a bedroom. As you walk into the bedroom one morning, you are nearly overcome by the pungent odor of urine. Upon further investigation, you realize the odor is permeating from the carpet in front of the dressers. In fact, the carpet is wet with urine in quite a large area. The siblings that you adopted seem oblivious to the odor and to your investigation. You comment, to no one in particular, “There is pee all over the carpet over here and it makes the bedroom smell bad. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep... more

Stubbornness must be a hereditary trait because I see my adopted daughters setting their jaw exactly like their birthparents and grandparents. One of the advantages of an open adoption is realizing your daughters’ come by some traits quite honestly. Hopefully, that helps us parents not to take it personally. I thought my daughter, who is now an adult, was stubborn growing up until I met my recently adopted 10-year-old daughter. She continues to give grief over schoolwork. Last year I thought she was purposely not doing schoolwork because she wanted to be homeschooled... more

All of Nancy’s talk about the healing properties of her rocking chair over at the RAD blog convinced me that I needed a better, bigger, new rocking chair. That is the only item I had on my Christmas list. Oh sure, I have a rocking chair. It is solid wood and quite adequate for rocking babies or toddlers. It was getting a little uncomfortable for rocking our four year old who weighs 45 pounds though. Super Dad took me to the furniture store several days before Christmas to look at rocking chairs after I told him why I needed... more

Continued from part 1

I actually stand in awe that this little guy doesn't have more of them. He is in a strange country with a family who all speak a different language. He is assaulted with smells he is not used to and foods he may not enjoy. We do our best to give him comfort foods he is used to, as well as books written in Chinese and movies and CD's in Chinese, but it doesn't change the fact that he knows he is here forever, and probably has very mixed emotions about it.

Right now, our biggest issue is language and communication. Since we all use sign language, we have tried to ease his transition to... more

Caleb spent 45 minutes today under his bed...as close to the wall as he could get...screaming his head off. Before you call Child Protective Services, no, I don't put my child under the bed for a time-out. Under the bed is where he times himself out, and as it is safe and secure for him, that is where I let him stay until he is ready to come out.

When we were in China, I became emotionally exhausted with new sights, smells and sounds...and I knew I only had to endure the "differentness" for two weeks. Sure, there were and are parts about China that I love, such as the amazing history and culture and friendliness of the people. I find the ancient architecture and calligraphy... more