Many years ago, a darling sibling group was placed in our home by the Department of Human Services. The sisters were seven and 13 when they arrived. Honestly, they couldn’t have been any cuter. The seven-year-old child had always been treated much younger than her chronological age by her birth family because of her special needs. Therefore, she still enjoyed snuggling, hugging, and kisses, which was nice. She also always wanted to take drinks out of my cup even though the only thing in it was green tea or water. I have gotten used to this over the years since nearly every toddler... more

Do you have a child who is a sleepwalker in your house? We do, and it can make life a little interesting for the whole family. It can also get your sleepwalking child into trouble. I forgot to mention to our sons’ hockey coach that one of them is a sleepwalker. The coach took the boys along with his own sons to a hotel for a weekend hockey tournament. It had been snowing and they didn’t want to drive back and forth late at night on icy roads. When they returned home, the coach complained to me about Lane walking around the room at 2am. Apparently, he was yelling, woke everyone... more

I still struggle with wanting to be the perfect mother for my older adopted children. I know they have witnessed so many failures over the years by their loved ones. They have been let down and disappointed to the point of expecting it. That is why I have tried to be a super mom over the years. The mom who never changes her mind, misses an appointment, or reneges on anything. It is a tough calling; obviously none of us are able in our own power to pull off such perfection. I have gotten a little better over the years because our children also need to know that it is ok to fail.... more

A child who is overweight weighs too much. A child who is obese has too much body fat. In both cases, the child’s weight exceeds the healthy range for his or her height. It isn’t always immediately obvious if a child is overweight or obese because children grow at different rates. If you take your child for regular physicals then your pediatrician probably charts your child’s height to weight ratio. You can ask your doctor if your child’s weight... more

It appears that our youngest daughter, now 18 months, will be the easiest to potty train of all of our children. Considering the fact that our oldest children will turn 25 during the next two months, and that we have parented nearly a hundred children, that is impressive. Honestly, I haven’t even tried to potty train her. I brought the potty chair out of the attic, and placed it in the bathroom a few months ago, because our granddaughter who is two has started potty training. Ami follows me into the bathroom and usually sits on the potty chair while she waits for me.

In... more

Some people have strong opinions about whether children should sleep with their parents. For young infants there is a safety issue. Obviously, a tiny baby could easily be suffocated by an adult rolling over in bed while asleep. But, how many times has an exhausted mom, desperate for a few minutes of sleep, snuggled her baby in bed in the middle of the night. I have fallen asleep that way many times over the past 24 year of parenting. What parent would turn away a toddler scared awake by a loud crack of thunder at three in the morning? Of course, these are exceptions and... more

If you have adopted children who have suffered trauma than you already know, that they tend to respond much better to rewards than consequences. Constantly dangling carrots out in front of adopted children who have suffered trauma can be quite effective in modifying their behavior. For children who have already lost everything, some more than once, taking away privileges or snacks or possessions rarely has the desired effects.

I guess I had gotten a little lazy and had returned to negative consequences to modify behavior. It does take a little effort and... more

Our adult daughter called Sunday morning, “What are you having for lunch?” she asked. The same thing we always have of course. I think I may have been cooking the exact same Sunday morning brunch after church for the past 15 years. I guess that makes it a family tradition. “Do you mind if we join you?” she asked, referring to herself and her new husband.

Children who have suffered trauma seem to appreciate routine and consistency. Even when they grow up, they like to think that everything is the same as it always was at home.

Of course, we didn’t... more

Sure, your children enjoy playing together, it is fun, and they learn a lot about each other. However, when they work together they learn each other’s strengths and limitations. They learn to respect each other’s abilities and can take pride in their own accomplishments as well as their brother’s accomplishments.

If your children aren’t getting along, maybe they aren’t even speaking to each other, putting them to work on a project may solve the problem. Either a project that requires teamwork and communication to get it done quickly will solve the problem or they will be... more

My first night in Haiti with Micheline, I was awakened at 1 a.m. by very loud screaming. My little four year old lying in bed next to me appeared to be awake and absolutely terrified about something as she thrashed around in the bed very agitated. The problem was, she wasn't awake. She was actually asleep, but in the midst of a night terror.

If you have never experienced a night terror with your child, it can be a very frightening experience. Your child's eyes are usually wide open, she may be sweating and have a racing heart, have a panicked... more