A team at Durham University developed a new tool to test more than 3,000 students of various ages. They found that a poor working memory seriously impairs a student’s ability to learn and about 300 of those students tested suffered from a poor working memory. We know that children with fetal alcohol effect have poor working memories. The study indicates that poor working memory may also be genetic. Unfortunately, this question isn't addressed on most birthmother... more

If you have adopted a large sibling group, or several children close in age, playing tooth fairy can get expensive. Sometimes we adoptive parents go a little overboard on tooth fairy payments because we are so excited to have the opportunity. At our house, the first lost baby tooth placed under a pillow has been known to rake in a five-dollar bill from the tooth fairy. Our dental hygienist, at a recent appointment, told me that she had just paid out five dollars to her adopted daughter for the first baby tooth lost as well. A recent poll... more

As a parent, I often wonder if I should let my younger children ride with their older teenage siblings. This is sometimes difficult to prevent because we currently have four teenagers in our home. Teenagers always want to be on the go, they are frequently going to the same location, and it seems silly to drive two vehicles to the same location. Our 15-year-old son just finished driver’s training last week so this article on teen death in auto crashes caught my eye. Especially since... more

At 18 months, our beautiful adopted child, Ami, has met many developmental milestones early. Her most recent milestone has to do with self-awareness. She has begun to take her toys away from our four-year-old and strongly say, “MINE.” This self-awareness increased the other night at the grocery store. Ami and I do the family grocery shopping while the older siblings attend AWANA on Monday nights. Ami pointed to a Dora dish set on the store shelf and said strongly, “MINE.” I thought it was so cute that I handed it to her. Then she saw... more

It appears that our youngest daughter, now 18 months, will be the easiest to potty train of all of our children. Considering the fact that our oldest children will turn 25 during the next two months, and that we have parented nearly a hundred children, that is impressive. Honestly, I haven’t even tried to potty train her. I brought the potty chair out of the attic, and placed it in the bathroom a few months ago, because our granddaughter who is two has started potty training. Ami follows me into the bathroom and usually sits on the potty chair while she waits for me.

In... more

One of our first foster care placements was a sibling group who later became our daughters. The oldest was a teenager who arrived at our home enrolled in the school band. Only she didn’t have an instrument and couldn’t play very well. She had, and still has, a natural gift of music that she ended up discovering. We ended up buying her a clarinet and finding private lessons for her. I think that is what started all of our children on their musical journeys.

Our oldest son was jealous that she had music lessons and he didn’t, although he had never asked for them. We ended... more

It was the morning of Christmas Eve and I had not yet wrapped any presents, not even one. Super Dad took the initiative and began wrapping the gifts we needed for tonight’s celebration with his family. I began separating gifts into piles based on whom they were for very slowly. I am surprised that Super Dad didn’t say anything to me because for the most part I just sat there in a kind of stupor. I have been suffering from depression for the last several weeks, perhaps you could tell by the tone of by writing. I just could not get into the holiday spirit. I went... more

Enough of the Christmas badgering, I can’t take much more. My eight year old is completely obsessed with Christmas gifts this year. The thought of gifts hiding in the closet is apparently driving him nuts. He must have asked me 50 times today, what he was getting for Christmas. What was I going to put in his stocking?

When he received his allowance today, he tried bribing me. Was there a gift he could buy from me for eight dollars? No, well could he make a down payment on a gift and get it today. Was there another job he could do to earn the full purchase price... more

There was a lot of excitement this morning when the children awoke. The excitement was spreading through the house for several reasons. The obvious reason was that it was Thanksgiving morning. Thoughts of turkey and desserts danced through their heads. There was no school today and they were thrilled about that. They get so excited about just lying around, watching cartoons, and playing video games. When they looked out the windows this morning they found the first snow of the season laying on the grass. Brilliant white crystals shimmered in the morning sunlight.

Usually,... more

Have you ever felt pressured to celebrate a holiday? What happens when you adopt older children who have already celebrated holidays? Obviously, they are already aware that other families celebrate on that day. When the holiday is nearing, the children new to your family may begin to get excited in anticipation. That is when you burst their bubble and tell them that, “Our family doesn’t celebrate that holiday.” Then you try to explain why your family doesn’t celebrate that holiday. Will your newly adopted children be angry, or feel resentment towards you?

If... more