Recently I received a question from a reader about her soon to be adopted daughter’s inappropriate clothing choices. If you have parented older children from the foster care system or adopted from an orphanage then you have probably dealt with these issues as well. It may help you, to help your child, if you understand where these habits originated. We were a little surprised and disgusted when we realized what was happening at our house. Our first sibling group, a teenager, and her younger sister helped to train us when we were new foster and adoptive parents. The teenager would... more

All 3 of my adopted children came to our home with table manners that left a lot to be desired. At times I have thought it would be simpler to put a feeding trough on the floor than ask them for the 1,000th time to please slow down, please chew with their mouth shut, please not talk with their mouth full, etc.

In China, Caleb would spit bones all over the table when eating chicken, and we had to tell him via our guide that it might be OK to do so in China, but the practice would be frowned upon... more

I have received requests from readers to include a few recipes from China and Haiti on this blog since that is where my children are from. Recipes don't exactly fall under adoption blogging, but I will add one today since it is a comfort food for my son.

Having lived in China for 11 years of his life, Caleb's taste buds have not totally acclimated to American food. Although he eats most things willingly other than dairy products and chocolate, his face really lights up when he smells Chinese food cooking.

Our attachment... more

I love Christmas eve. I mean, I really love Christmas eve, far more than Christmas day. It's the anticipation of the beautifully wrapped gifts, the excitement the young ones have of knowing Santa is coming, having a nice Christmas eve dinner surrounded by family, reading the Christmas story out of Luke and enjoying the lights on the tree and a crackling fire in the fireplace. Christmas day to me has always felt rather anti-climactic.

Today is the last day of February and for... more

"I can't speak English." "I won't speak English". I don't have to speak English." "I hate English".

That is what we have heard --although stated in Chinese--pretty much since the day we met Caleb. He told our guides, he has told Chinese friends here in America, and even told the Mandarin speaking doctor whom we hunted down for him. He told us via our guides in China that English was his worst subject in school and that he saw no need to use it or speak it. They in turn told him that he... more

part 1

One of our members is the leader for Roots and Shoots-- an ecology focused organization--for our group. For their valentines, her family passed out a snack sized ziploc bag with a peat moss pellet, a gourd seed, a Hershey's kiss, and instructions for planting the seed.

I was explaining to Caleb and Ben on the way home how we would wet the pellet, put the seed in it, etc., and they became very excited. As we were chatting, I heard a dismayed sounding "Uh-oh" from the back seat. Micheline seemed upset and when I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't have a seed in my bag." I asked her... more

Caleb experienced his first Valentine's Day in America, and it has been an eye-opening experience for both of us. We've been working on valentines for quite a few days now since we belong to a homeschooling group of families who have adopted from China, and were participating in a valentines exchange of 36 valentines via the U.S. mail. Unlike Ben and Micheline who fizzled out pretty fast, Caleb worked long and hard on his valentines and proudly showed me each one when it was finished.

We also belong to a local homeschooling... more

I have been asked if there are any experiences that Caleb has had since coming to America that have caused him to become wide-eyed with amazement. He relished his first trip to McDonald's, his first airplane flight seemed to be pretty exciting, and he loved the Great Wall, but those all happened within China.

When we adopted Ben he was excited about pretty much everything. Even buying a banana on the streets of Wuhan was like an out-of-body experience for him. As you can see in the photo, it doesn't take much... more