My oldest daughter hates it when I write about her, she’s a private person and wants to put the past behind her. Therefore, I apologize “J,” but I feel compelled to write about our concerns for your little sister, she is my daughter, too. Little sister “R” is 18, almost 19, and is making some really bad choices. It has to do with that teenage brain thing; you know they don’t use the same part of their brain as an adult.

“R’s” first bad choice was moving out the month of her eighteenth birthday. She did move in with her older sister, “J”... more

If you have adopted a child from the foster care system, then chances are your child has one or more siblings, somewhere. Sometimes you know where those siblings are, and then you can help to foster a sibling relationship. Younger siblings often emulate older siblings, and that part of the sibling relationship seems to happen even when they live in different families.

Older siblings can be a source of encouragement and unconditional love for your child. Unfortunately, once they get to those later teen years,... more

While some of the children were introducing themselves to a visitor, our seven year old blurted out, that’s my brother, and we came from the same mom. Now that he is old enough to understand that, not only are they brothers by adoption, but they are also brothers by birth, he takes great pride in the knowledge. He definitely looks up to his big brother and follows him everywhere.

Another cute phrase he sometimes uses when he wants a drink or a bite is we’re brothers so we can share, because brothers don’t have germs.... more

All 3 of my adopted children came to our home with table manners that left a lot to be desired. At times I have thought it would be simpler to put a feeding trough on the floor than ask them for the 1,000th time to please slow down, please chew with their mouth shut, please not talk with their mouth full, etc.

In China, Caleb would spit bones all over the table when eating chicken, and we had to tell him via our guide that it might be OK to do so in China, but the practice would be frowned upon... more

I have received requests from readers to include a few recipes from China and Haiti on this blog since that is where my children are from. Recipes don't exactly fall under adoption blogging, but I will add one today since it is a comfort food for my son.

Having lived in China for 11 years of his life, Caleb's taste buds have not totally acclimated to American food. Although he eats most things willingly other than dairy products and chocolate, his face really lights up when he smells Chinese food cooking.

Our attachment... more

If you took a foreign language in school, do you remember the first time you actually thought in that language rather than your first language? Do you remember ever dreaming in your second language? I remember that happening in Spanish and American Sign Language both, and they were pretty exciting milestones.

My son Caleb, has hit some of those milestones. When he talks in his sleep, I have noticed he no longer does so in Chinese, but rather in English. He no longer thinks first in Chinese and then translates his thoughts into English to say... more

Pardon me if I seem a bit perturbed today. I belong to a Yahoo group of homeschooling parents with a Christian focus and as such I was saddened last week to see many of them openly criticizing other parents who have chosen to send their kids to public school. Just like the working mom vs. stay at home mom argument, these women seem to have taken sides and feel that if you send your kids to public school you don't love them enough.

Excuse me? One woman, speaking of parents who send their kids to school because they needed a... more

Much has been said about the pain that many adopted children have on Mother's Day. Theresa, on the adoptive parenting blog has a great example here of how some children react to the day. Some faced abuse in their former homes or institutions, hence Mother's Day doesn't exactly conjure up images of peaceful home and hearth in their minds.

Today, however, I would like to focus on the perspective of an adoptive Mother and how I feel about the pain... more

"It's MINE!" How many times has a parent heard that from a 2 year old? Developmentally appropriate, right? What if that same statement is being yelled by an eight year old, however, or a 12 year old? That kind of comment is not uncommon from a child who came from a background where she was never taught how to have empathy and compassion for others.

Perhaps it was never modeled in the home or orphanage, or perhaps it was just a Darwinian type mentality that our children had... more

We took family photos over Easter and I thought it would help my youngest kids feel more grounded to see us all together. For Micheline, however, the new photos raised questions in her mind.

I've been struggling to blog this week due to overwhelming family responsibilities, but none of them hit me like the brick my daughter tossed my way tonight. She's 6...emotionally much younger sometimes, but for the most part right on target as a 6 year old except for the fact that she's had more pain and... more