You know the old saying, “blood is thicker than water?” You adopt an older sibling group, already in their teens. You parent them as best you can considering their ages, unique individual issues, and ongoing connection to their birth family. However, in just a few short years they are adults, they move out of your home, and begin blaming you for everything. They turn against your family, and everything your family stands for.

They come into your house and begin making accusations. They belittle your parenting skills and the choices you made for them as their parent.... more

I read an article in an adoptive newsletter once that said, “You might be a foster or adoptive parent if you have three beautiful daughters and they are all named Jessica.” It really does get confusing when you blend families by adoption and you end up with siblings who have the same or very similar names. Marie over at the Christian Adoption blogs was just talking about this dilemma in her own blended family.

When we adopted our first sibling group, two daughters, we tried to convince them to change their names, just a little. Our oldest daughter happened to have the same name as a cousin who was the... more

You’ve adopted a sibling group and now one of the children is old enough to drive. Do you allow your child to get a driver’s license as soon as legally possible? Do you let the older sibling transport the younger children? What type of problems might arise from the driving privilege?

We definitely encountered some unforeseen difficulties when we allowed our daughter to get her license. She took up smoking for a while, which she could easily do away from home in her car. She once threatened her younger sister with severe bodily damage if she exposed her secret.

We... more

It has been over three years since they left our home, two children, whom we love very much. They were part of our family for 18 months. We made the mistake of taking “ownership” of them after the rights of their parents were terminated by the state. At the time of the TPR, no other families were interested in adopting them that we knew of, except us. They had come to live with us at two months of age and 2 years of age.

There was another family, living three hours away in another state that had adopted the three older siblings. They didn’t know that the TPR... more

“Mom, why did we have to adopt my brother?” Buck asked exasperatedly after Ty, his younger brother, had followed him around all day. “Because you are such a wonderful son we figured your brother would be too, and we wanted you to be raised together,” I answered.

“Are you sure we are really brothers? You know the hospital or the state could have made a mistake,” he queried.

“There was no mistake Buck, you definitely both have the same mother. Both of you were placed with us straight from the hospital and I have the original birth certificates.”... more

My friends adopted a sibling group of five children many years ago. I have a special connection with this adoptive family because we parented two of their children. You see the siblings were split into two foster homes the first two times they came into foster care. These children really look like siblings probably because each has the same two birth parents, uncommon in foster care from my experience. Therefore, one might assume that their needs and goals might be similar. However, each child’s needs are very different.

One... more

The first sibling group that we adopted was two sisters who also had an older sister placed with an aunt. It was almost 12 years ago that our daughters came to live in our home. Now our adopted daughters are all grown up, and the older of the two sisters has two children. That’s right we are now proud grandparents.

Yesterday, our oldest granddaughter turned two years old. There was quite a gathering at our older daughter’s house for the birthday party. You see we maintained an open relationship with our daughters’... more

If you have younger children in your home, bringing in an instant big sister can present some interesting challenges. Especially when you consider that, the teenager is going to be a role model for your younger children, and they will probably look up to her. Teenagers who are in the foster care system are at high risk for being sexually active and for having unprotected sex. The numbers I found for sexually active teenagers in foster care were between 40... more

Many states have policies about siblings remaining together for adoption, even if they haven’t been in a foster care placement together. Should that policy also govern placement when one of the siblings being considered for adoption is severely mentally disabled? What if that disabled sibling is preventing the other sibling from being adopted?

This situation does actually occur; I’ve seen these siblings on the various state websites that list available children for adoption. It also happened to the older sisters of one of my adopted... more

You have decided to move ahead with your adoption plans to bring a sibling group into your family. Most of the children in the sibling group have appropriate names, but for one reason or another, one of them will require a name change at the time of the adoption. How will the other children react to that name change?

There are several reasons you might need or want to change the name of one of your children when you complete the adoption process. Some families see choosing a child’s name as a right of passage (sort of) into... more