You have adopted a sibling group. The siblings that are of the same gender share a bedroom. As you walk into the bedroom one morning, you are nearly overcome by the pungent odor of urine. Upon further investigation, you realize the odor is permeating from the carpet in front of the dressers. In fact, the carpet is wet with urine in quite a large area. The siblings that you adopted seem oblivious to the odor and to your investigation. You comment, to no one in particular, “There is pee all over the carpet over here and it makes the bedroom smell bad. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep... more

At 18 months, our beautiful adopted child, Ami, has met many developmental milestones early. Her most recent milestone has to do with self-awareness. She has begun to take her toys away from our four-year-old and strongly say, “MINE.” This self-awareness increased the other night at the grocery store. Ami and I do the family grocery shopping while the older siblings attend AWANA on Monday nights. Ami pointed to a Dora dish set on the store shelf and said strongly, “MINE.” I thought it was so cute that I handed it to her. Then she saw... more

Shea likes to drive himself to church service so he can hang out with his teenage friends and this day was no exception. He really isn’t too bad of a driver for just being 18, but he does have ADHD, dyslexia, and those raging hormones that are common in a teenage boy. Honestly, I was a little surprised that our church didn’t cancel morning services.

You may have heard about our recent winter storms here in Michigan. The snow covering the roads and trees is truly lovely, until you have to drive through it. With temperatures hovering around 0 degrees Fahrenheit... more

A reader asked me recently about enrolling her adopted children in sports. Another mentioned that her adopted child didn’t have the social skills to play a team sport. Rarely, in our 14 years of foster care, has a child come to us already active in any sport. Most of those children also lacked social skills. Our family, like Cindy’s over at the older child adoption blog, enjoys soccer. We also love floor hockey. Every child that has come through our doors has been enrolled in soccer, hockey, or both.

On the soccer field... more

For the last year, our four-year-old has been trying to understand her baby brother’s death. It has actually been two years, this week, since his unexpected death. Unfortunately, her parents were unable to seek counseling during that first traumatic year. Their own grief and guilt prevented them from reaching out to others, for themselves, or for their daughter. Ali was two then, almost three. Her immature questions were met with tears of grief and pain.

I know, because I was there. They called me in the middle of the night and I rushed to hold them in... more

Whew, am I glad that the children behaved at dinner last night. There was a mother at the restaurant sitting at a table across from us with a little boy. Just the two of them were eating dinner together. I looked over at them several times because Super Dad thought he recognized the boy from one of our children’s previous hockey or soccer teams. Ty plays hockey twice a year, one organization in October and November, and city in January and February. I did not recognize the boy, but Super Dad was quite sure so I kept looking. Tonight, was Ty’s first practice for... more

Super Dad and I received a gift certificate for $60.00 at Christmas to a local family type restaurant. This restaurant is advertised as family friendly, casual, and affordable. We thought it would be enough to take the whole family out to eat on a ¨kids eat free¨ day. We went today, because kids eat free there on Tuesdays and we had both worked all day. It was crowded when we arrived and several families were waiting to be seated. We were told that we would need to wait about 20 minutes for a table.

When we were seated, our server greeted us and took our drink... more

I know it is inevitable that older adopted children will return to their birth family, but it is painful for the adoptive family to watch, and it does not make any sense from a logical standpoint. My now adult children have been flocking to their birth families’ houses on holidays and birthdays since they turned 18. Even though we adopted them through the foster care system, we maintained contact with the birth family members because of their ages at the time, nine and 15. Only one aunt sent cards and notes every single year for Christmas and birthdays so... more

First, allow me to admit that I was stupid to take three children with me powering shop for Christmas presents. I was suffering from the “I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my children because I worked today,” syndrome. I know that this syndrome plagues many working parents. I had it especially bad when I used to work full time outside the home. There I was at Meijer with two full shopping carts and three children in tow.

The first three hours went pretty well, but then we became thirsty. We bought drinks from the snack shop located within the store and... more

Do you remember when whatever your brothers or sisters were doing had to be more fun than what you were doing? Usually your childish imagination created a wonderful scenario, way out of proportion with reality, on which you were missing out. The old, “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence,” adage. My eight year old has accompanied me to work on several occasions so that I could help him with his schoolwork. He still requires assistance with directions and when I am working in the office, I usually have time to help him. It was not a reward or... more