Do you have a child who is a sleepwalker in your house? We do, and it can make life a little interesting for the whole family. It can also get your sleepwalking child into trouble. I forgot to mention to our sons’ hockey coach that one of them is a sleepwalker. The coach took the boys along with his own sons to a hotel for a weekend hockey tournament. It had been snowing and they didn’t want to drive back and forth late at night on icy roads. When they returned home, the coach complained to me about Lane walking around the room at 2am. Apparently, he was yelling, woke everyone... more

On the way to monthly individual appointments with the psychiatrist, I always tell my adopted daughters to be honest with the doctor. Each month I remind them that the doctor cannot help them if they are not honest with him. Neither the doctor nor mom can know exactly what is going on in their brains. The only way to find out if a medication can help them is to tell the doctor what they are thinking or feeling. Mom can only give the doctor her observations, which probably isn’t an accurate assessment of her daughters’ thinking. When children have suffered trauma as my adopted... more

I am continuously surprised by the similarities in children with fetal alcohol effect. The similarities are sometimes odd issues, that wouldn’t seem to have anything to do with fetal alcohol effect. That is one of the reasons I am so glad to have this opportunity to exchange information with so many adoptive parents of special needs children. It really helps us to accept our children’s behavior by realizing that it is due to brain damage and not their choice. I was recently sharing information with an adoptive mom about my teenage daughter with fetal alcohol effect who likes... more

A team at Durham University developed a new tool to test more than 3,000 students of various ages. They found that a poor working memory seriously impairs a student’s ability to learn and about 300 of those students tested suffered from a poor working memory. We know that children with fetal alcohol effect have poor working memories. The study indicates that poor working memory may also be genetic. Unfortunately, this question isn't addressed on most birthmother... more

British researchers are saying that fifty percent of a person’s sense of well-being comes from inherited personality traits. If you adopted a child with just the right genetic mix then that child’s happiness could almost be assured. Researchers found that they needed to understand personality in order to understand happiness. The personality genes, those that allow a person to be extroverted, emotionally stable, and conscientious are responsible for half of a person’s long-term happiness. Researchers further elaborated that being outgoing, calm, and reliable provide an affective... more

Because I am currently parenting four teenagers this article on binge eating caught my eye. So far, only our older adopted and foster daughters have struggled with binge eating. Like many adoptive parents, we are willing to try anything at least once to help our traumatized children adjust to a normal life. This is an internet program that requires just a half an hour on line each week for 16 weeks. Because teenagers usually enjoy being on the internet anyway, it shouldn’t be too difficult to talk your teenager into taking a look at this program. California researchers... more

As a parent, I often wonder if I should let my younger children ride with their older teenage siblings. This is sometimes difficult to prevent because we currently have four teenagers in our home. Teenagers always want to be on the go, they are frequently going to the same location, and it seems silly to drive two vehicles to the same location. Our 15-year-old son just finished driver’s training last week so this article on teen death in auto crashes caught my eye. Especially since... more

I still struggle with wanting to be the perfect mother for my older adopted children. I know they have witnessed so many failures over the years by their loved ones. They have been let down and disappointed to the point of expecting it. That is why I have tried to be a super mom over the years. The mom who never changes her mind, misses an appointment, or reneges on anything. It is a tough calling; obviously none of us are able in our own power to pull off such perfection. I have gotten a little better over the years because our children also need to know that it is ok to fail.... more

We have survived 14 years of foster parenting because we are stubborn, consistent, and hate failure. We had already adopted five children and did not intend to adopt another teenage daughter. However, CPS (Children Protective Services) knows that I will offer temporary help in a crisis. That is how our 15-year-old foster daughter arrived at our home. She was only supposed to stay a few days until an appropriate placement could be found. We never thought CPS would consider leaving her with us. You see in Michigan foster homes are not supposed to have more than eight children... more

I have yet to meet an adoptive family with a child affected by fetal alcohol who has not had to deal with sneaking and lying. As the adoptive parents of these children, we often struggle with accepting the child’s inability to control sneaking or stealing, when it often appears to be premeditated. A common scenario that would seem premeditated involves an active effort on the fetal alcohol affected child’s part to search for hidden objects. Once the sought after objects are located, the child often conceals them, usually within the clothing that is being worn. Then the child takes the... more