If you just adopted a sibling group then you are very busy parent trying to establish a routine. You are trying to get used to have two, three, or four times the number of people in your family. Of course, that means more cooking, more grocery shopping, more laundry, more cleaning, and more transporting. It can be down right hectic at times and you could use some support. The last thing you need right now is another thing on your parent “to do” list. If your life is anything like mine, you don’t have time to watch television, read magazines, or even file your fingernails.

What... more

I was listening to my favorite Christian radio station this morning. The morning DJs are young adults because the station wants teenagers to listen, so they give them people to whom they can relate. Actually, the music and contests are geared more towards teenagers as well, but I like the music. So, the DJs were talking about Mother’s Day and wondering what some of their listeners were planning to do for their moms. A teenage girl called in and said that her mom didn’t want anything for Mother’s Day. The DJs made a couple of suggestions, which did include housework. The... more

I have been babysitting my grandchildren while their parents work during the day for the last few weeks. They are currently one and two years old. They are the children of my oldest daughter, now 25. She came to us as a 13 year old with her younger sibling and joined our forever family by the miracle of adoption at 15. My youngest daughter by the miracle of adoption is one year old and falls right in between the ages of my two granddaughters. The three little girls have always loved each other, but lately they have been becoming best friends.

In the morning when they first... more

“Who is your favorite kid, Mom?” “Am I your favorite?” “He is your favorite, that’s why you let him have one of your sodas, right?” “Why do you like my brother best?” “You like the girls better than the boys, don’t you?” “The baby is your favorite isn’t she?” Which version of this question have you heard? If you are parenting several children from various backgrounds then you have probably heard them all, just as I have. For a few years, I tried to argue. I tried to tell the questioning child that I loved them all equally. Eventually, after years of being worn down, I just started... more

My children’s birth aunt will be getting married next month. According to my children’s maternal birth grandmother, she’ll be sending us pictures and a copy of the invitation for the kids. We’ve seen pictures of her intended via e-mail and the children are very excited. The children and I are working on a joint gift for her that we hope she and her new husband will enjoy!

It’s been wonderful to continue to have our open adoption with the children’s birth family. My two youngest share the same mom, and have an older brother in the care of this grandmother.... more

An older adopted child can really put a parent through the wringer. We parents need to learn to keep our sense of humor throughout these trials or we would definitely go nuts. While I understand the sensitivity and privacy of the subject, it can be helpful for adults parenting older adopted children to share stories. It is helpful because it can prepare us for inevitable. Yes, when our own adopted daughter reaches this developmental milestone. If we are not prepared, we may not handle this delicate situation as well as we could. Not only that, but laughter is good for the soul... more

What was I doing 25 years ago today and where was I doing it? That is an easy one. I was giving birth to my first born son. Actually, his time of birth in the evening was about the same as when I began typing this story. We were in Midland Texas during the oil boom for a few years, which included his birth. Many people flocked to West Texas during the boom because there were many jobs and lots of money. That was long before our adoption journey began. We parented close to a hundred children in the past 14 years hoping to adopt a baby girl through the Michigan foster care system.... more

As I mentioned in a blog yesterday, a reader asked me for some advice on encouraging her soon to be adopted daughter, to dress appropriately. Her question really had three parts so I decided it might be best to split them up. Yesterday, I covered adopted daughters wearing dirty clothes again. The second part of the reader’s question was about her daughter wearing clothes too tight. I tried to deal with this by appealing to logic for my first few years of foster and adoptive parenting. All that led to was arguing and one of us getting angry. I decided to make this a non-issue at... more

Recently I received a question from a reader about her soon to be adopted daughter’s inappropriate clothing choices. If you have parented older children from the foster care system or adopted from an orphanage then you have probably dealt with these issues as well. It may help you, to help your child, if you understand where these habits originated. We were a little surprised and disgusted when we realized what was happening at our house. Our first sibling group, a teenager, and her younger sister helped to train us when we were new foster and adoptive parents. The teenager would... more

We send the children off to school in jackets because it is chilly in the morning when the get on the bus. Towards afternoon, the weather begins to warm up. The Children are likely to toss off their jackets into a pile on the ground. At the end of recess, they will probably retrieve them. If just one of the children who tossed a jacket into that pile happened to have head lice then the lice probably jumped onto all of the other jackets. This pile of cloth is the perfect playground for those little biting opportunists to spread. The children will probably slip... more