Adopting a Sibling

The status quo for many adoptive families is to adopt children younger than the children currently in the family. How many times have you heard the advice, “Don’t disrupt the pecking order?” There are many who feel strongly about never changing the pecking order. It might have negative psychological consequences on the current children. Or, maybe you have heard that older children will negatively influence your current children. Some people are afraid that older children may harm their younger children. Should families only adopt younger children? Our family has disrupted the pecking order numerous times with our seven adoptions. We always ask the current children how they feel about adopting the next child or children. Honestly, I never remember even one of our 10 children ever saying… [more]

A couple of weeks ago we had an unplanned and unexpected sibling visit with two of my daughter’s older sisters. I mentioned in a previous blog how surprised and impressed I was with one older sister’s improved behavior. I asked her many questions as my 14-year-old daughter watched with mouth agape. However, that is not the only action we took. My daughter has always enjoyed riding our horses. However, she has not been allowed alone with the horses since the bad haircut incident. After the talk with her sister I thought it might help to discuss some of her sister’s changes. I mentioned in another blog how teenagers usually talk to parents better while driving or doing something physical. Therefore, I invited her to… [more]

We had a pleasant surprise this afternoon while attending open houses for graduation seniors. One of my daughters has a birth sibling graduating from high school this year. Of course, we were invited to the open house. We have maintained contact with him by having periodic visits and phone calls throughout the 11 years since their adoptions. We have done the same with the other four birth siblings as well, although we had more visits when the children were younger. There were six siblings, who were adopted by four separate families. When we arrived at the open house, two older birth sisters greeted us before her brother did. Lyn was very excited by this unexpected sibling reunion. Rarely do four or more of the children get… [more]

You know your adopted baby is beginning to grow up when she begins copying her older siblings. Ami will be turning two years old in July and she idolizes most of her older siblings. Frequently, she is seen trying to be just like one of them. Whether, she is walking with her hands behind her back, echoing their exact words, or just following them around. When she sees them playing, she always wants to join in, and sometimes they let her. She is getting quite adept at assembling legos. However, today she cried for quite a while when she wasn't allowed to play Monopoly with her older siblings. At suppertime, big brother Ty, decided to eat his supper in the hallway on the floor. Occasionally he does… [more]

I've blogged ad nauseum about our youngest. His older sister was crazy about us from the first time she talked to us on the phone, but my youngest was not so sure. When we went to meet the kids, though he had fun, he had a “little pout” to his lip, according to his older sister, and my husband! He was thoroughly attached to both of his foster parents, and still enjoys talking to them. He's a little conundrum, because he'll make friends quickly. So quickly, in fact, I was afraid he might have an attachment disorder of some sort, because he would meet someone (males in particular – the females he took longer to warm up to!), and next thing you know, he'd ask to… [more]

Celebrity Baby Blog is reporting that actor Maurice Bernard and his wife, Paula, have adopted her teen-aged sister following the death of her mother. I remember watching Mr. Bernard on All My Children when I was in college in the early 80's. He's also native to the San Francisco Bay Area where I grew up. He's been an incredible champion of getting the word out about bi-polar disorder, which he suffers from, and though I don't have it, I have struggled with Dysthemia and Depression. So, because of our many parallels, I've always admired him. It cheers my heart to hear this wonderful news, though sad because of the circumstances through which the adoption became necessary. Another amazing adoptive dad is actor James Caviezel. He and… [more]

I've been lamenting my youngest son's first lost tooth, and thinking about milestones in general. As he and I were talking in the car tonight (about the lost tooth, of course!), I was thinking about how much progress this boy has made in just a year! When we first began our long distance relationship with them while they were still in foster care in another state, both kids had a Southern accent so thick you could cut it with a knife! I loved it and thought it was so cute, but thought that it would be ages before they shed it, particularly my youngest, as his was the most pronounced of the two. It's gone. Yep, both of them have lost the accent. Not only that, but my… [more]

My youngest son has been sick and throwing up. In deconstructing our day, my husband asked me if I found a difference between cleaning up after our adopted siblings than I did our biological son. My answer was that I don’t like cleaning up after any of them! But, the point I think he was trying to raise had to do with bonding with your adopted children. When we first went back to visit the kids, my youngest was having sinus issues that caused mucous to build up, thus he threw up then, too (he’s not a prolific barfer, it just so happens that this is what happened!). I didn’t have a problem bathing the kids, but, yeah, wiping behinds and other bodily fluids took a little… [more]

With the fun of summer comes millions of annoying insects including mosquitoes. Mosquitoes not only bite and leave itching welts but they sometimes transmit serious diseases to their victims. Some diseases transmitted to people by mosquitoes are West Nile virus, malaria, and dengue fever. Your pets can get life-threatening heartworms from these nasty pests, as well. Here in the United States our risk of contracting diseases from mosquito bites are low. We can use insect repellents to help discourage their nasty bites and protect our pets with monthly heartworm preventative. We have screens on our windows to deter pests from entering. However, most of us can turn on the air-conditioning to avoid even opening the windows. There are more mosquitoes flying about at dusk and… [more]

Are your teenagers struggling with Acne? It is one of those horrors of the teenage years. If your child is also dealing with adoption issues, fitting in, finding their place in the world, acne can seem like the end of a social life. You want to help, you offer kind words, and you dutifully look for a product that will clear the acne. There are so many to choose from, how can you know which ones will actually work? Are they all the same? If they are different, then what ingredients should you look for? Sebaceous glands are connected to the hair follicles. The job of the glands is to secrete an oily substance to lubricate your hair and skin. The oily substance is sebum, and… [more]